We have considered “Liberty” the most needed thing in human life. Liberty has been defined as the freedom and rights human beings deserve. We have been discussing the relationship in many contexts, but this has some different matters that we will include over here, and also, it is important to discuss. Relationships are beautiful in their way; Perhaps it is a life-owning part that keeps a human happy and young in their growing period.
People grow in relationships. They learn all the new things related to the beautiful phase, which makes them responsible. A person is very lucky to get a good partner in this journey. Similarly, if a person is around dominating, they always tend to remain depressed, upset, unhappy, and many more.
People love to get those close attention from their partner in a relationship, and all they want is love, but if it is controlled fully by another partner, then this is none other than a toxic relationship.
The main purpose of this article is to understand what is controlling relationships, its signs, and how we can get out of it.
Concept of Controlling Relationship
These days when couples are together, they seek each other’s attention. However, this is very natural, and nothing is wrong with this.
It is normal to see that one partner has rights over the other. But it becomes disturbing when one partner starts putting excessive rights and starts commanding. The dominating partner believes that the other one has to be cooperative in all things. Sometimes, a person gets depressed because of all these, and no one would like to lose any of their rights in life. One person’s excessive control has always interfered with the other’s life, which is wrong. We can see that if a person starts controlling others in their own way, this is a part of toxic behavior.
A dominating person doesn’t need to torture their partner only physically. They act in such a way to the other person that they start feeling It Mentally, which also brings them down in the relationship. The good expectation from the relationship goes away, and they always get negative vibes after that.
Let’s take the example of you and your partner. Take it as you both have been in a relationship for the past 3 months. You both are very comfortable with each other and love to spend time together. These things are going quite normal, but later, as time passes, your boyfriend starts asking about the places you visit, the time you sleep, the time you eat, the person you talk to, you contact, you chat you like and love. Initially, you think this is very normal, and you will feel that he is very insecure about you. You might feel that this is ok and will love it for the first few days.
When these things remain the same for a longer time, it becomes a headache for you. Now you have started observing that whatever you do is not per your choice. You are just doing whatever your partner is loving and only to make them happy. In this process, it is clear that you have lost yourself, which is not applicable in a true relationship. This is an abusive relationship where you are always afraid of doing anything.
Signs of Relationship control
Various signs show over the relationship control you. The dominating behavior increases so much that this gives birth to insecurity. Now, there are various ways for a person that start dominating nature by trying to control a relationship. Let’s start by mentioning some important signs highlighting how the person is trying to control the other.
Your partner wants to be included in your group
This is the first point you will observe in your dominating partner. It sounds very awkward when any partner says that they too want to become part of your group.
- You must understand that your partner will come up with this behavior. He will always want to be with you and even with your groups. Though this is impossible, they will try to put all the force they can have, and this Might Later becomes torture. He or she will show you that they don’t want to leave you alone or spend time alone. Overall you get it that they do not want you to be free and leave your own life as per your thinking.
- You will also observe that they will try to disturb you more when you are out with your groups.
- They will make you feel you have done very wrong with them by leaving them alone. Therefore this will make you feel a bit depressed.
- They will show you their jealousy in your every activity- This is a second sign that your partner will show you as a dominating person. Though you have done nothing, your partner will still show that they are jealous of your communication with others or the things you do.
- They will dominate you to show their jealousy and unhappiness. They will try to involve the other person between you both. Maybe the Middle person has less interaction with you and has no work in your life, but your partner will still try to show that he is not comfortable with your behavior.
They will keep an eye on your social media accounts every time
You will always observe that your partner is watching your every post. This is a bit normal, but it is very disgusting when your partner starts abusing you for any of your posts that he didn’t like. This is Just a hint of how uncomfortable he is in everything.
- They will always try to check your phone calls and chat with other people. However, you have a full right to keep these things private, but your partner won’t allow you this. This action shows they are very insecure and want to control you over everything.
- A bit of insecurity or checking the messages or phone can be considered normal, but there are always limitations on everything. If they forcefully snatch your phone and force you to check on everything, this is a clear sign that they are in relationship control mode and want you to do everything according to their words.
They will always prove you wrong
No matter how much you try to explain things to your partner, they will always prove that you have done wrong with them.
- If someone tries to give you attention, you should share all these experiences or happenings with your partner. In such a case, you expect their support, but instead of that, they will not support you and will show that you are the person who has given such leniency to the other.
- They might mould all your words and will certainly prove that you are the culprit and that everything happens only because of you.
- Now, this is when you start questioning whether you are wrong or they are forcefully proving you. This will be a continuous disturbing topic in your mind, and you will remain depressed.
They will start forcing you to stay away from your friends
Who does not love their friends? Of course, everyone wants their friends to be there with them at any phase. The controlling behavior of a person becomes so bad that they start demanding you to stay away from your best friends.
- No one would like to do so, but to keep your partner happy, you might do the same.
- When you are following all and remain very upset, this is control over you.
They will start an emotional threat
Some people take advantage of other’s weaknesses and start emotional blackmail.
- Your partner will start blackmailing you that they might harm themselves if you do not Listen or talk with them.
- This is the common behavior that a person possesses to Make others agree to anything they want.
Use of guilt to manipulate you
Some people use their guilt to manipulate others to follow their instructions.
- They will show you how unhappy they are with their actions and will be sorry for it, but they will still tell you to act as per them. This will emotionally mould you, and certainly, you will think that the partner is more important than anything, and in this way, he will become successful.
- This is a very good option that they might choose to manipulate you.
Putting conditions on acceptance
This is very difficult to know that a person will try to control the relationship by putting up conditions in front of yourself.
- They will show you that you are not so worthy of them, but still, they have included you in their life. For example, your partner will tell you that you would look good only if you were slim.
- They will prove that they have done a credit on you and will always try to criticize you for not being the same day they deserve.
- , When it happens, this is a clear sign that a person is being controlled in a relationship by their better half.
Spying every time
It’s hard to know that the person we trust the most starts spying on us because they have trust issues. You might not feel like sharing everything with your partner, but they will still put pressure on you to share every activity you do in your daily life. With such a controlling partner, you cannot do anything you want and accept the things said by them.
- They would manipulate you so that you feel there is nothing wrong with sharing. Now the things don’t remain the same as per your expectation after sharing.
- Your partner will start misbehaving and torturing you emotionally to show you that whatever young is not supposed to be done.
- You will lose interest, and later we will observe that this relationship has no love and only control.
Arguing every other day
Your partner’s controlling behavior would lead to starting arguing, and this will worsen every day.
- Certainly, you will find it’s ok to keep quiet and follow whatever they say.
- Maybe you want to avoid the conflict, so you accept and get ready for everything.
They do not want to consider any of your views first
You will observe that whenever you try to say something or give your opinion to your partner, they will not appreciate you for this.
- Even though you want to ask some important questions, the behavior will be so negative that you would feel the change in them.
- This is a sign which shows that they are now controlling your opinions every time.
Not appreciating your school or college grades
You might be very passionate about your job and future, but when your partner dominates, they will never appreciate you. Even if you have scored good marks, they will not motivate you for your career. They will only make you feel that you’re not good enough for a job or you cannot do anything in your career. Certainly, this decreases your confidence in yourself, and you will start thinking as per your partner’s suggestions. Even if you are hard-working and confident, you will lose all of it. This would happen just only because of the controlling behavior of your partner. Now, what negative do you expect from a controlling person and relationship?
Abusing you in front of everybody
Some people are still so controlling and dominated that they don’t even realize what they are saying in front of the public.
- We can observe that some people only want their partners to listen to them in every aspect.
- When this abusive behavior exceeds, it becomes very disturbing for the other, resulting in a bad relationship phase.
You can hardly spend time with your family and friends
Now, this is the phase where your partner has become so controlling that you cannot even speak to your family members.
- Maybe you want to talk with your favorite person but cannot; that is only because of your partner.
- You want to be involved with your family members in everything, but you will feel afraid to do so.
They would start physical torture
This is a very disgusting act that your partner starts doing anytime with you. They will hurt you physically if you don’t listen to your partner. When you think about ending this, they will act as if they love you so much, which is why they become aggressive. They will react as if everything has been done unknowingly.
In the above context, we have got the partner’s controlling behavior. This behavior is very horrible when it reaches a high level. It sounds very disturbing when any person is in the control of others. This is what the controlling relationship looks like. When time passes, this just turns into an abusive relationship. We believe that this does not always involve physical torture. But it’s also true that it has all the mental and emotional torture. Below we will understand how we can overcome this controlling behavior of a partner. You cannot stay all like this because this will almost try your life for the whole time. A person can never stay in this condition for their full life. It is important to take some great steps and get out of this. Overcoming the controlling relationship is difficult and might take a lot of guts to talk about. But only if you want to come out will you have to understand its importance. A person’s situation worsens in a controlling relationship and loses interest. Hence, we will learn about the process to come out of this situation.
Some questions to yourself before taking any big step
If you are depressed from the inside and feel helpless, do try to ask yourself some questions. This process is the best way to analyze what is going on and what steps to take.
- Do you feel that your partner behaves with you whenever you both meet?
- Does a partner make you uncomfortable when they are around?
- You don’t find it comfortable to say them even if you want to.
- Do you always feel that you are in the wrong relationship or with the wrong person?
- Does a partner makes you scared every time you see them
- Do you feel that all your good energy has drained out after looking into a partner’s eyes?
- Do you feel scared to talk with your friends or family members?
When a person is very much disturbed in the relationship, these questions are normal to ask themselves. It’s a time when you should get back all the confidence that’s in you. Your best thing is they are taking you out of you if you lose your confidence.
A dominating partner will keep you scared all the time, and this is the thing that is not appreciable in a healthy relationship. You must analyze that you remain scared of your partner every time. If it’s so, you now have to be strong and fight the situation. If you think the same thing, you will have to remain scared for the rest of your life. If you do so, then that is the scariest thing to know.
Communication is the source to get the answer to everything. If you are disturbed about your partner’s behaviour, speak to them about it. Do not feel scared about anything, and open up the issues you face. If the person is mature and a good partner, they will understand what is going on and try to change it. When you see no improvement even after discussing it many times, it means that the person is not perfect for you, and you should start moving with fresh life.
You have to understand that even after your effort, everything is going wrong; start talking to your favorite person in the family. Your friend can also help you with this, so discuss this with them. There are maximum possibilities that you can overcome. It is also recommended that you visit a good therapist if both of your partners want to make your relationship work but are still finding it difficult to solve the issue. This will certainly help you both to get an answer about the issues that are going on.
With the help of this article, we have learned the concept of controlling relationships. Relationships are precious, and everybody deserves to get into a good one, but what happens when a person is in a toxic relationship? when the relationship is over-controlling, it is toxic. With this article, we conclude that few signs show you are a person and you cannot lead your own life in your way. When you find this disturbing, and if you find this helpless, then try to talk with the partner. We concluded that this could be minimized only by talking to a partner who is behaving search. Maybe the partner will understand this properly because he or she would not like to lose you. Even after a person is helpless, they are very much recommended to ask some expert family friend who can help a person there in a great way. Overall we conclude that toxic relationships don’t last, but if they are conveyed properly between partners, they can be minimized. If one person is controlling, there is a chance that the other will lose interest in the first one, and this might be their good relationship. Hence, this article is very helpful for people who want to get out of a controlling relationship.