Can You Ever Stop Loving Someone? What You Need to Know About It! Love is a beautiful feeling, and it is unparalleled when it comes to other things like lust, hatred, envy, etc. But that is exactly why you need to deal with it very cautiously. Because love is a much stronger feeling than all of them, and it has multiple angles to it. But why is it so complex?
To put it simply, it is not just a feeling, but it induces a kind of chemical reaction in our body and mind. Thus, it becomes so difficult to avoid it once we catch feelings for someone. But can you stop loving someone once you have already developed feelings for that person? Well, this is what this post is all about. Here, we will look at the various aspect and judge if it is possible for someone to stop loving someone.
Let’s get started.
Can You Ever Stop Loving Someone? Why is It So Difficult?
Like I said before, love is more than just a feeling. When we fall in love, we kind of experience a sort of frenzy in our bodies, this happens because love creates a chemical reaction in our brain, and that’s why we start behaving differently and so and so forth. But here, we will not talk about the biological aspect of love so much as how to get over the feeling.
To be loved by someone is a wonderful feeling, perhaps the best in the universe. To know that someone thinks about you, someone cares about you, and there is someone who will always be by your side is truly an amazing feeling. However, only a handful of people can truly love someone with all their heart and soul while expecting nothing in return. This is a kind of one-sided love that not everyone is capable of. Hence, begins the problem;
- Lack of reciprocation from the other end makes you more drawn to that person, and you start to develop an expectation that one day, you will get the love you deserve.
- When you love someone, they become a part of your life, and it is never easy to let go of a particular part of your life so easily. You feel like holding on to it because that’s how you can only cope with the situation.
- Quite quickly, we get used to the person we are in love with, and that’s why it becomes difficult for us to understand how to get by with our life without the presence of that person.
- Self-blaming is another reason why you could not get over the love you had for someone. No matter what happens, you will always be a bit biased about that person, and you would think that it is or was only your fault and that you were not good enough for the relationship.
But these are not all. There are some other compelling reasons as well as to why we can never stop loving someone. Below, I will attempt to discuss them one by one.
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He or She Was Perfect
When we fall in love with someone, there can be a number of reasons as to why they seem the “one” to us. It can be their physical appearance, it can be the way they talk with you, or it can be something else as well. But whatever it was, for you, everything seemed the best, and you thought that you might never find another soul on this planet with all these qualities.
This thought of yours actually created a kind of dependency on the partner, and that’s how your feelings for him/her went from strength to strength. However, it also worked as a trap later on in your life when the relationship sort of went downhill. You just couldn’t convince yourself that he/she can also have flaws just like any other human being, and this feeling prevented you from a lot of things:
- You just couldn’t believe that a relationship with someone so perfect could ever be ruined. Everything seemed so picture-perfect to you that you had lost touch with reality.
- You start to convince yourself that it was your entire fault that the relationship went downhill because your partner is perfect, isn’t it?
- After the relationship, you just couldn’t get over him because he/she seemed too perfect, and you don’t think you might ever meet someone so amazing.
- You give up on your love life and start feeling insecure due to your inability to return the love you get.
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You Need to Accept the Way Love Is
This is another huge problem and a great obstacle in your way to getting over the feelings you have for somebody. But it is quite natural that being in love is directly connected to your psychology. However, if you wish to understand if it is ever possible to stop loving someone, then you need to take love as it is.
Love is not something absolute; however, it has some very deep meaning in your life. The ideal situation should be to take away that experience and understand whatever you can about life and love in general. Every human being is different, and we must learn to accept that the way they are with all their greatness and flaws. When you fail to do this; the problem starts:
- You become too apprehensive about life and love in general. You start to consider that there is no one in this world who is worth loving you or vice versa. This kind of attitude is never very helpful for you to move ahead with your life.
- If, however, you have to let go of the relationship, then one should just accept the journey that they were lucky enough to experience. This way, you would be able to keep yourself calm and accept life as it is.
- The ideal is to always accept the feelings that come to you. Pushing them too much is never something too helpful for your life.
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Prepare Yourself for Your Future
This is again related to the previous point, and you cannot do this one if you are yet to accept things as they are. If the current relationship and its breakup are really bothering you too much, then the best way to tackle that is to wait and prepare yourself for the future.
It will not only make you a better person for yourself, but it will also help you tackle the current predicament that you are having currently. When love leaves you scarred and beaten mentally, the best idea is to take a break and concentrate on something else. I am not sure if time heals everything or not, but time surely helps you get accustomed to the current situation. But for that, you should give yourself that time.
- If there are things that you have always wanted to do or start with, then this is the time to do them. Any new thing will help you get your mind off things and, at the same time, help you grow personally.
- Maybe due to the relationship, you failed to stay in touch with your close family members and friends. But now, you will have all the time in the world to reconnect with them and spend some quality time.
- At the same time, you can reconnect yourself with some of your hobbies, the long-lost hobbies you once held them close to your heart. Instead of thinking all the time about what went wrong with your relationship, you can surely spend that time enjoying your hobbies.
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Limit the Contact
When you are trying to get over someone, the idea is to not mingle too much with that person. Hence, if it is not possible for you to completely sever all contacts with your ex-partner, then it is better to at least limit the contact between you two. Now, it may seem a bit childish to do so, but sometimes, it is the rudimentary techniques that work the best for some people.
You are already weak for the person, and if you wish to get over the weakness you have for him/her, then staying very close to that person will not be of too much help. It is better to have some kind of understanding between you two or just have a clear understanding with yourself about how to avoid seeing that person too frequently.
- You need to be very cautious about this, and it will be easier for you if you both have this understanding between yourself.
- Try not to find him/her or follow the person and pretend that it happened by chance. It is another bad habit that you need to get over if you wish to have a peaceful life on your own.
- Stop being at the places that you know that he/she might frequent anyway. This is like, you are waiting to see him accidentally, but it will never leave you to stay in peace.
- You can also limit your contact on social media, via messaging platforms, or even on call.
Sometimes a Vacation Helps
Yes, a vacation really helps; it really helps in a lot of ways. In such a situation, one must spend some time with you. But just sitting at home all by you, not feeling like doing anything, will not be a very good thing. However, when you are on vacation in a beautiful place, the surrounding will make you feel better, and it will make your mind diverted as well.
Try to go to someplace where you might find new culture and new kinds of things to do. You can also ask some of your friends or very close family members to join you as well. This will be really helpful if you feel that spending a vacation all by yourself will be too much for you to handle.
- Some exciting place where you will have new things to do will surely make you feel happy and allow you to forget the current heartbreak.
- Quality time with your family and friends may not always be possible. But when you go for a vacation, you can actually end up doing both of them quite easily.
- However, you need to make sure that you don’t end up in some place where you have been before, even with your ex-partner. This way, everything will be undone, and you will end up feeling low as ever as all the memories you had with him/her in that place will start to haunt you again.
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Stop Putting All the Blames on Yourself
It is very important, perhaps the most important step if you ever wish to forget him/her. This comes from your mind that he/she was the best partner you could ever have met. Hence, it is you who were not worthy enough to be in that relationship and you were not successful in returning the love to your partner. However, that was not the case, not necessarily.
A relationship is never dependent on someone alone; it works when both partners act together toward the success of the relationship. Hence, maybe your partner also failed to understand what you were looking from the relationship. This misunderstanding or the space in communication makes everything so difficult in the relationship. Hence, just stop blaming yourself all the time for the failure of the relationship.
- Stop thinking of the perfect person to have ever lived on this planet. Being a human being, he/she is not outside of the flaws that human beings usually inherit. Hence, there is no need to think of him as the perfect partner.
- The idea is to consider all the aspects that went wrong without being biased. Only then will you understand that it was a fault on both ends, and that’s why it has reached this state.
- Once you learn how to look at things without being biased, you will be able to stop blaming yourself for all the failures. This is perhaps the only way to get over the insecurity you’ve been having.
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Take Help of Some Counselor
Not every single human being is made of the same kind of material, and that’s why it can be very much possible that all this may take a serious toll on you. However, you need to get back on your feet and face the world as it is. But if it seems too much for you, then you can always take the help of some professional. There is no shame-feeling in talking about your problem with a professional, and it can be very helpful as well.
All you need to do is look for a professional counselor and speak your heart out, and all that’s troubling you. The counselor will help you tackle the situation and make your mind strong enough to accept the situation and live your life. We very often talk about our physical health and the importance it has in our lives, but we rarely speak about the necessity of mental health. However, this is equally important.
- For certain individuals, dealing with the breakup can be very difficult. There are a number of people who suffer from acute depression, and it is not a very good feeling. This is where the counselor can help you. By speaking your heart out, you will be able to understand how to deal with the situation.
- Sometimes, all you need is someone who would listen to you, and just by speaking freely, you may feel a lot better. But since most people don’t have time to listen to you, only a counselor can help you in this scenario.
- With a few sessions in the presence of a professional, you will feel the change in you and also the newfound confidence to deal with whatever lies ahead of you. This is what mental sanity is all about. With sound mental health, we can take on any challenge thrown at us by life.
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Accept the Feelings You Still Have
Sometimes truth is bitter, but the only way to swallow this bitter pill is to accept the truth as it is. When you think about it clearly, you will see that the real reason you feel hurt is because of the feeling you still have for him. Then why don’t you just accept the fact that, yes, you still have that feeling for him?
This can prove to be a counterintuitive approach to the problem you have currently. When you cannot fight the feeling you have, it is better to accept the fact. This way, you will be much more at peace with yourself, and also, you will be able to accept the problems you have been facing due to all that.
- Instead of blaming yourself, your fate, and the people around you, accepting the situation is a much better approach. This way, the pain will be much less.
- It works as reverse psychology as well. When you start accepting the cause of pain, the less painful the memory will become. Just surrender to your feelings in a positive way, and your mind will find a way to get out of the clasps.
- I believe when you will take the help of a professional, you will be taught this same thing, and if it is too difficult to do on your own, then you can always seek help from a professional.
- Sometimes, accepting the problem as it is working is the best possible solution when nothing else works too perfectly.
It Takes Time
Everything takes time, and when you are getting over and getting over the temptation to stay connected with someone. So, you need to give yourself some time to get used to these things. As I have mentioned in the last point, sometimes accepting the real reason can prove to be the best solution. However, it will not happen overnight, and you will have to give yourself that much time.
Thinking that everything will happen quickly, will only frustrate you all the more. Hence, the best part is to be patient and wait for the time when your heart will automatically accept the situation and also the outcome.
- Just like the feeling you have for him developed over a long period of time, forgetting or letting them go will also take some time, and till that point, you will have to be patient.
- Even if you are taking the help of some professional, even then, one has to be patient as well. You will not be able to see the results right from the first session.
- Being patient with the outcome will help you in life as well. Since your mind is still agitated by the current situation, a little bit of patience and waiting will offer you an opportunity to reflect upon life and whatever that’s going on.
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Give Priority to Other Relationships
This is perhaps the last piece of advice I can give to you. Since your previous relationship is not working that well, it will be better if you focus on someone else. It is not necessary for you to find another love interest in such a short period of time, but you can still count on some good friends.
- Focusing on other relationships will help you keep your mind diverted from the current problem.
- You will be able to appreciate the feelings that other people have for you, and it will also help you restore your confidence.
- Finding another good friend will restore the faith again in relationships, and you will be able to connect more easily from the next time onwards. After a tiring experience from a past relationship, this new experience will seem refreshing.
What Remains?
So, these are the things you can try to stop loving someone before it gets too hurtful. I hope these points will help you tackle the situation with care if you have decided to end this on a not-so-bitter note. If you have any similar interesting experiences, feel free to share that with us in the comments section.
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