Hero Instinct in Men; What Is It? And How Do You Trigger That in Your Partner? When you are in a relationship, you would always want your man to be there for you always and unconditionally, isn’t it? Anyone would look for a steadfast commitment and a very secure relationship that feels exciting and, at the same time, quite stable.
But if that is what you have in mind, then how do you define your ideal man? Do you imagine him being strong and unwavering or simply brave and determined? Do you see himself defending his values fearlessly and without any question? Would you like him to be very much compassionate as he is confident?
There can be no doubt that there are many women who often fantasize about their version of Prince Charming. When it comes to the real-life form of this fantasy, we have hero instinct. This is considered to be man’s evolutionary response to protect their loved ones in everyday life. When a man has a hero instinct, he will be self-assured, confident, and intelligent, and he is seen to be able to care for himself and his family with ease.
Also, he will prioritize his relationship with you. His goal would be to keep you happy and safe, and he will do whatever he can to ensure that.
But what will evoke the hero instinct in men? Well, some people also ask if this is something that comes down biologically. Is it possible that some men are more apt to commit and stick around than others? Or maybe there are some other psychological factors at play? And how can you associate this hero instinct with romantic relationships?
In this post, we will try and find out the answers to these questions.
Let’s dive in.
What Is the Hero Instinct in Men?
Before we get into how to trigger the hero instinct in men, we need to first have a clear idea about what it is. Now, everyone has a picture in their minds of what a hero is.
If you see Hollywood movies, you will see that heroes are almost everywhere. Most of the time, you will see the whole story involve a man taking center stage and saving the people he cares about, especially a woman. Needless to say, that the hero is strong, brave, and full of integrity.
But the question here is, will any regular man like to don a cape and save the entire city from villains as we see in these films? Would you need to turn your man into Thor to trigger his affection for you?
No, not exactly!
When it comes to hero instinct, it is less about Hollywood stunts, and much more about the basic biological urge men have to feel needed and wanted. If you are considering the concept of hero instinct, then according to that, all men are driven by three crucial things in their life, and they are:
- Live an influential life and feel respected for his efforts.
- Deliver for those he truly cares about, and that includes his family, relatives, friends, and especially his life partner.
- Be appreciated by the people around him.
When you spend some time with a man, by some careful observation, you will notice that all of this makes a lot of sense. Men do come in all forms, shapes, and sizes; however, these three psychological urges are quite common in all of them.
The truth is that most men don’t necessarily wish to be action heroes. However, he will have a biological urge to be a hero to the woman in his life. To understand this concept better, you can watch a video by James Bauer, who happens to be the expert, to discover the hero instinct. In that, he reveals some very simple things that one can do to trigger the hero instinct in your man today. It also includes a “12-word text” every man wants to receive.
Also Read: My Boyfriend Doesn’s Respect Me
Why Does He Want to Be Your Hero?
When a man falls in love, he becomes naturally protective of his love interest. This is a part of basic male psychology. If you are having an argument with your friend, then he would naturally take your side. Also, like when you will cross the road, he’ll put his body on the side of the traffic.
These are things he just can’t help with.
Even if he is afraid to admit that he loves you for some reason, it will be difficult for him to control his actions of wanting to protect you. Based on a study published in the Physiology & Behaviour journal, the male’s testosterone makes them feel protective over their mate’s safety and well-being.
Even if he has never told you in clear words that he loves you, it will be very clear to you that he does by all his actions. If you observe, you will be able to see it in the way he looks at you. You will be able to see it in the way he acts around you.
It will be present even in the simplest of gestures that touch you in the deepest ways.
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Who Had Coined the Term ‘The Hero Instinct’?
It was James Bauer who had introduced the term ‘the hero instinct’ in his best-selling book, His Secret Obsession. You can read the book as well to understand his explanation of this term much more clearly.
He is actually a relationship expert who has worked with thousands of men and women in order to strengthen their relationships. This has offered him an amazing opportunity to study the dynamics of his clients’ relationships and research male psychology. Through all this, he managed to discover what he believes is the key to a happy relationship: triggering the hero instinct in men.
As a psychologist and bestselling author, he was already quite popular, but the popularity of hero instinct actually propelled him into becoming one of today’s leading relationship experts. Would you like to evoke the hero instinct in your beloved man? And start from today? Then watch his video and get to know the 12-word text that will make him need you in his life.
What Does the Hero Instinct Mean for You?
So, what does hero instinct mean to you? Well, the main takeaway from the concept of hero instinct is that instead of making your guy feel unessential, you just have to make him feel wanted and needed.
By no means have I wished to say that women need to come across as weak. You may not need to be a hero, and rather, you just need a man who feels like one.
Your guy will be aware that you are very much capable of doing most of the things on your own. And he would surely respect you for it. But there is no harm in allowing him to take charge once in a while to fulfill his biological urge to step up to the plate for you.
Basically, he just wants to have your back, and also, he wants to be your rock. You just need to allow him to be this once in a while. There is this alternative as well where a man who is in a relationship while his hero instinct isn’t triggered is much less likely to be in that relationship.
If you wish to be with the man who is in a relationship with you, won’t you let your pride in your unwavering self-sufficiency go to save the relationship? I believe it is a fair deal.
Also Read: How to tackle relationship issues
How Can You Trigger His Hero Instinct?
Now, let’s talk about how you can trigger the hero instinct in your man.
Ask for Help
This is one of the most fundamental tricks to set off your man’s hero instinct. It focuses on the fact that you are allowing him to feel useful to you. Hence, you need to ask him little favors but make sure you clearly point out that none of this means to make him a victim or helpless.
Always remember that your man isn’t looking for a totally demanding Princess who is not prepared to do anything for herself. Rather, he would love to see you emerge as a strong and capable woman as you are. Hence, by no means do you need to play that down in order to build him up.
Since you are so competent, when you ask him for his help, it becomes all the more significant. As you are able to do almost anything for yourself, all the praise and regard you bestow on him while seeking his help is even more of a boost to his self-esteem.
Always Celebrate His Wins
Every man is ultimately looking for your admiration constantly. Hence, winning makes him feel special. So, if you could show him that his successes and wins in life are never unnoticed, he would feel that he’s succeeding in getting your approval.
In this case, you can just picture a child who is never told “well done” or celebrated by their parents. Instead of a child, here you have a grown man, but you should never underestimate the fact how much we all like to be praised by the most important people in our life.
It is very common for us to feel very much neglected or dejected if we never receive it. So, you need to be his number one cheerleader in life.
Also Read: Are you emotionally needy?
You Should Look for Advices Specific to Your Situations
Be aware that triggering a man’s hero instinct can take a while to get down pat. If you, yourself, are going through a challenging time in a relationship, then have you ever considered speaking to a professional relationship coach about your situation?
When you visit a relationship coach, you will get advice specific to your life and your experiences. There are many people who reach out to relationship Experts after going through a stressful time in their relationship. There are some experts who even offer online services with highly trained coaches.
Most of the coaches and experts will be really kind, and they will take their time to really understand your unique situation and give genuinely helpful advice. If you feel that getting your relationship back on track is too challenging for you to handle alone, then it is wise to reach out to any Relationship Expert at the earliest along with your partner.
You Should Always Bring Him up and Never Tear Him Down
I believe you already know that a little bit of flattery goes a long way, and the same is very much applicable for triggering his hero instinct too.
This is because, at the end of the day, we all have our egos, and one of the best possible ways to give it a healthy little boost is with a compliment. It can be as simple as telling him that he looks great in that new shirt he bought. Or, you could just start boasting about his hard-earned promotion when you go around for dinner with your folks.
A great meaning of hero instinct is also that your man feels respected when he’s around his peers. Hence, you should definitely treat him well whenever you’re with his friends. While you are joking, a little bit of teasing is all part of a playful relationship, and you should, by all means, avoid belittling, mocking, or criticizing him when you’re hanging out with his buddies.
You must remember that there is always a right time and a place for voicing disputes, and it’s not whilst he’s with his friends.
Also read: Do you love her, signs
Never Go Overboard with Your Praise
Yes, I know that in the previous few points, I have said that to trigger his hero instinct, you need to allow him to feel good, and for that, you need to praise him. But I believe it is about time, and I tell you that there are limits to this praise.
You need to understand that he also wants to feel like a real man, and if you go overboard with all the praise, it can sometimes come across as a bit condescending. At the end of the day, he is not some toddler; rather, he’s a grown-ass man. So, this is not about giving him stars on his good behavior chart or telling him that he is a very good boy for eating up all his vegetables! You get the point, right?
Of course, you should never do these things, but what I want to highlight here is that you don’t have to lay it on too thick. If you do that, he might suspect that all of this is not genuine praise, and it will lose its impact.
Allow Him to See that He Makes You Really Happy
Any person would want to know that they do make their partners’ lives all the better simply by being themselves. In this case, your man is no different.
So, when you are happy, smiling, laughing, and enjoying his company, all of these become physical and verbal cues to him that he is doing this. This doesn’t mean that you need to plaster on a smile even when you’re furious with him or feeling very sad. But if you love your life and you love the life you have with him, then always be honest and clear about that. If being in his company really brings you joy, then you should never be afraid to show it.
Like we have that famous saying, “happy wife, happy life”.
Also Read: Relationship Goals
Always Encourage His Goals
When you believe in your partner, it will work like Jet fuel for him. So, if he has some goals and ambitions in life or his career, then encouraging him will surely mean the world to him.
That’s exactly why he needs to hear from you that you really believe in him and how you think that he can accomplish whatever he sets his mind to. You need to tell him that you are very much confident that his skills and abilities will take him wherever he wants to go.
When a man has a supportive woman by his side, it will help him feel like a true hero who can conquer the world.
Show Him He Is Your Bae
If you have only started dating each other and you are still seeing other people, then this particular way of triggering his hero instinct may not apply to you just yet. But it can work wonders if you are in a serious and committed relationship. All you need to do is make him feel that there is no doubt that he is the man for you.
Instead of just being a cute nickname, “before anyone else” can work as a good reminder of how your man really wants to feel. Be ready to show him this through the more subtle attention you pay to him. You can go for those loving looks and gentle touches.
But apart from looks, you can also tell him how he feels and never shies away from declaring how important he is to you. Everyone likes a bit of lovey-dovey romance in our life.
Also Read: How to flirt with guys
Keep Him on His Toes
Most men just love challenges. They love the feeling like they have tackled a task and emerged as a winner as it offers a high that only comes whenever we master something. Regardless of what challenges you face in love, if you have a gifted advisor, then you can get all the answers you need.
Here, you need to keep in mind that we are not really talking about “the chase” when it comes to wooing a woman. It is actually different because this is not about playing hard to get to spark his interest. Rather, it is a kind of challenge where you give him something new to do.
Like, you can ask him for help with something that requires him to rise to the occasion and also use some of his talents. It can be things like trying a new activity or sport, or maybe something that puts his brain to work.
Always Tell Him “Thank You”
Believe it or not, gratitude is actually a total superpower in life, and it has almost magical powers of transformation. Don’t think that I am exaggerating!
Rather, you should be surprised to learn just how powerful a little bit of gratitude can be. Some studies indicate that it not only has individual benefits for us but is also a kind of “social glue” that strengthens all relationships, including romantic relationships.
The moment you show gratitude for whatever he does for you, it will allow him to feel appreciated, and it can play a huge part in his hero instinct. Apart from that, it can strengthen and encourage that positive behavior that provoked your praise.
So, the more you say thank you, the more he would try to reinforce this feeling by continuing to treat you right.
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Encourage His Playtime
Just like you have decided to always support his bigger goals and ambitions in life, you should also support his other interests, and it can trigger his hero instinct.
His interests can be anything like rock climbing, gaming, or chess, and regardless of the fact that it makes sense to you or not, you should let him know that you encourage his independence to pursue his own hobbies.
You should never act moody for him wanting to spend time on his passions, even if it is something that you are not interested in. This is all about the balance, and he’ll obviously need to make plenty of time for you too. But you should always let him know that you are happy for him in whatever he is doing. If you make any attempts to heavily restrict this, things can move in a different direction.
So, these are the ways to hero instinct in him. I hope these points help you tackle it in your life and have a wonderful relationship ahead. If you have any such personal experience, then do feel free to share that with us in the comments section.
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