Carrying a relationship is not as simple as it looks! Can You Take A Break In Relationship? We will share our Thoughts!
There are several phases of a relationship that you need to keep in mind, and that’s what makes it all the more complex. However, with a bit of understanding and sensitivity, we can overcome the common problems of having a relationship.
Among many couples, one of the most frequently asked questions is; does taking a break in a relationship really work? Let’s explore!
Is it Okay to Take a Break in a Relationship? What to Do?
This is a question that can puzzle most people who are either committed or just started their relationship. So, in this post, I will be sharing some insights with you that can help you understand the actual reason for taking a break from the relationship.
But I don’t want to take a break from it! It will end the relationship!
Yes, this is perhaps the most common fear that every couple goes through when asked about the concept of having a break from their relationship. Some may even say that having a break in your relationship is absolutely overrated, and one should not indulge in some whimsical things. However, according to experts, having a break from a relationship can sometimes help you save it from actually breaking up forever.
I know what you are thinking; it is easier said than done, isn’t it?
But truth be told, this is not the case.
Having a break from your relationship can be healthy, but it has to be mutual. Several factors can lead to this decision, and you must consider every single one of them before actually starting it.
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The most important question about this is –
Does your relationship really require a break?
Below are some signs that will help you get some idea:
What does your instinct say?
Are you happy being in this relationship, or do you think that something is off-putting about the whole ordeal? This is perhaps the most important question to ask each other. When you are a couple and emotionally invested in each other, your instinct can be the biggest tool to understand if everything is going as per plan or not. Sometimes, even having the talk will not help you too much. This is where you can take a break for a few months and see what you feel about your relationship.
Conflict over major life decisions is a very common problem with couples these days.
When such a thing arises, you need to tackle it smartly and with sensitivity. Life decisions are never easy, and if your relationship is an integral part of your life, then you need time to reflect on things. However, the relationship itself will demand a lot of time from your life, so if you feel that you need some time to reflect upon your decision, then taking a break can really help you. However, as mentioned before, you need to take this decision through mutual consent.
Are you facing the problem with time management?
Well, thanks to our current lifestyle, this can be a very common problem. Most people nowadays are running out of time, and their relationship is suffering for this reason. Having a break, in this case, can be really helpful.
Because then you will have some time on your hands to set your affairs straight and get back to your life with a clear head. Being in a relationship just for the sake of it is not a wise decision at all.
Frustration is reaching the roof!
Sometimes, you hit a phase of your relationship where nothing seems to work out perfectly, and you become clueless as to what’s the reason behind all this fiasco. If you are also facing similar kinds of problems, then having a break from the relationship can allow you a breathing space.
Constant arguments can take a toll on your mind, and you will be left with nothing but bitterness. If things continue to move forward in this direction, then it will be just a matter of months before you break up forever.
Issues regarding cheating have left an ugly mark.
Maybe you still care about each other passionately, and you still can’t help but admit that love is still there. However, this one incident regarding a third person has left an ugly mark and shook your trust pillars considerably. In such a scenario, forgiveness is the only thing that can make things go back to normal.
However, forgiveness doesn’t always happen spontaneously. It takes some time for both parties. In such a scenario, a healthy break can offer you that time to let time work its magic. After all, as they say, time can heal everything.
A new habit has been formed, and you need some time to adjust.
Perhaps you have had some amazing days of munching street food together and have had junk food Sundays every month. But perhaps one of you decided to do something about the weight issue at hand.
However, this is taking a toll on you as you are still longing to spend time together like you used to do. In this case, you both need some time to get used to the new habits. A break in such a scenario can surely help you overcome the adversities.
Family calls!
As I have said earlier, the relationship itself will demand a lot of time from your lives; the kind of time you will not be able to spend every time so easily. This is because your whole life doesn’t revolve around this relationship, and you need to take care of other things as well. Suppose you have some kind of emergency in your family, and you need to spend a lot of time handling that.
Now, if your partner fails to stand by your side in such a scenario and you help you tackle it, then your relationship can have a bad patch. So, ideally, if you have too much on your plate, then you need to take a step back and sort out your priorities.
Maybe your partner’s life revolves around you.
What if your partner doesn’t have too many friends in his life and all he is ever interested in is his work and hobbies. However, a bit part of his life and hobby revolves around you. At first, you may find it cute because he is spending so much time with you. However, with time, things might become a bit too clingy for you to handle.
If you have a similar kind of problem growing up, then having a break can help you in the future. It will help your partner to realize that there is life beyond this relationship, and he/she needs to find it for his/her own good! Here, a break can actually be beneficial for the stability of the relationship.
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How Can You Define The Break?
Well, you have been dating for a long time now, and all your friends and family are aware of the fact. But this sudden break can surely create a question mark before them. So, how can you define the break or pause in the relationship?
Now, explaining this thing to someone else and having a clear understanding of it in your head are two completely different things. If you ask me, then I would say, having a clear understanding of it between you two is more important than having a ready-made definition prepared for others.
So, what does this break mean to you?
To be absolutely clear to yourself, you must understand what the frequency of this break is? If you just want to have this break because your partner is not good enough and you wish to meet new people, then clearly, you are just one step away from breaking up forever. Frankly, this should not be the reason for having this break in the first place. Sometimes, it is not about seeing someone else. Maybe, you just wish to explore the world on your own and do things of your own accord.
In both these cases, having a break from the relationship will not help you too much.
If you are taking the break for the future of your relationship, then it will have a different vibe to it. At the core, you should always be ready to get back together and continue the relationship. However, there are certain things that you need to figure out before that, and this is precisely why the break is taken. To get some time alone to think, reflect, and examine the various aspects of your relationship. Or it can be for temporarily prioritizing something that requires immediate attention.
You have to sit down and talk before taking this step. After all, it should be mutual; otherwise, the relationship will anyway fall out of orbit. It should only happen when you feel that you cannot be honestly and completely involved in this, or you doubt the feelings you are having for the time being. Maybe in your mind, you are constantly thinking about something else, and you are not truly there even when he is sitting just beside you.
This break will allow you to have a space of your own where you don’t have to or even pretend to be a good partner. It is not a mandate to perform your best when you are not even feeling like from within. So, you better start defining it as taking some time to yourself to explore the origin of your own happiness or healing. This way, it will be clear to you and to your partner that the relationship is not necessarily headed towards an ending.”
And if you still wish to explain this thing to other people like your friends and family, then you can say that this space is about exercising the inner self rather than doing something or indulging in activities that push the lines of commitment. This is, of course, done and exercised without any kind of guilt or consequence and, most importantly, by mutual consent. The motivation here is a kind of desire to achieve clarity or personal evolution.
If still, someone has doubts, well, it is their problem and not yours.
But another important side is there as well.
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How Long Should You Continue This Break?
This is a very important angle to reflect upon for both of you. After all, if the break is characterized by some desire to achieve personal evolution or for the betterment of the relationship, then you should have some kind of limit to which you are going to push this.
You have to keep in mind that this is a delicate issue, and if it is not handled with care, then it can send out wrong impressions. This is why this time restraint is something you should deal with before even getting into the break.
Both of you should be clear about the duration of this break before it either make it better or sabotages your entire relationship forever. Now, since every relationship is different, it is very difficult to call a number as to which extend the break should or shouldn’t continue. Everything has an expiry date; however, when it comes to relationships, it is a bit more subjective.
Moreover, the duration will matter based on the reason behind taking the break. So, you need to keep in mind that as well. For example, if you are taking the break just to tackle some emergency of your family or to put some focus on your career, then the time limit will automatically adjust itself. But in other scenarios, things will not be so simple. This is why many experts believe that it is not so wise to set any time limit for your partner. It can kind of pressure them, and that will not be very wise for your relationship.
Like, you cannot give her a month to be herself; otherwise, you call it quits. It can send out a wrong kind of message and jeopardize the whole relationship. Sometimes the time limit itself can make the partner lazy, and they fail to work on the things they are set out to do. This lack of motivation can also make you suffer the consequence.
So, what is the solution in this case?
This is why most experts say that instead of giving your partner a time frame, you need to use regular check-in after a stipulated time. In this way, you can create some additional motivation for your partner to actually work hard on his/her goals during the break period. But that doesn’t mean you can stretch it till infinity because even that can be counterproductive to the whole thing.
So, how can you prevent it from going too long?
In this case, you need to work smart and map out a scheduled list of check-ins. Make sure to keep it flexible. It can happen daily, weekly, or even once every month. The mode of check-in is also something you can keep flexible.
You can contact me via emails or texts and simply a short video call.
Thanks to this, you are not completely detached from your loved one and yet manage to give him/her that space he/she needs. You can also check on them how they are feeling and, if possible, also motivate them to work on their personal goals.
Since you will have a clear idea about how they are feeling, you can understand when to end this break or pause and resume dating as usual. Instead of having a strict deadline, this can be much more helpful in the long run.
Now that you know all this about taking a break from the relationship, you must keep in mind the do’s and don’ts of this thing as well.
As you know, to make every new thing successful, there must be some rules that must be adhered to. If not, then things can move sideways. To prevent that from happening, here are some dos and don’ts about taking a break from the relationship.
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The Dos You are in Relationship
First, let’s talk about the things you should always do when you are in a relationship.
Try to speak in person about the decision that you have made.
Remember that you are not planning her birthday party. So she doesn’t need to be surprised by this. Rather you should give her the time to actually think about the possibility and reflect upon the consequences that will come. Hence, never announce this decision over a phone call or WhatsApp. You should sit down together somewhere and talk about it. Because the reaction you will get out of her is very important in this case.
Clearly explain the reason behind this decision of yours.
It is not something that you on your whims, so there must be a reason, and it must be a good one. Don’t talk about things here and there but stick to the point. Your partner is eligible to know that the break you are taking amounts to what. Even if you are not sure about why exactly you need this break, you should tell that honestly as well. This way, your partner will not be in the dark about what follows once the break has been established.
Set some clear yet sensitive ground rules!
When you are taking a break from your partner, there must be certain ground rules in place to ensure nothing undesirable happens during the break. However, they should be sensitive too, so that your partner doesn’t feel that he/she is under some kind of contract or worse in the prison cell of some country. It is always advisable not to meet during the break and, let alone get intimate. However, you can still be in touch with each other and keep a tab on each other’s health and welfare.
Immediately notify if something significant happens.
Just because you are on a break doesn’t mean that you need to be secretive with each other. So, during the break, if something significant happens, you must make it a point to confess that to your partner. This way, the trust factor will still be intact, and your relationship will be much stronger even after the break.
The Don’ts During the Break
Now, let’s talk about the things you shouldn’t do during the break.
Don’t poke your partner every day asking how they are feeling.
Remember that the very reason behind going on to this break was to discover their inner joy and resolution. So, you need to give them that space to interact and identify that. If you constantly trouble them with your texts and calls, then it will be furthermore detrimental to the relationship.
Don’t remind them of the timeline every time.
In such a case, there should not be any fixed time limit. So. Reminding them of the time that has passed every day or pressurizing them to come back together ASAP is not a very good idea at all. For that reason, you should just let them be and wait patiently. In the meantime, you can also try and discover your inner joy as well.
Don’t expect anything unrealistic after the break.
Many people often humiliate their partners when they cannot see any significant change after the break. This can actually destroy the relationship forever. You need to respect the decision they took about taking this break, so hackling them about the outcome won’t help you in any way.
Stop discussing this with all your friends and family.
It should be a private thing, and you should respect that. You don’t have to go to social media to post about it. It will only ruin the integrity of the relationship you have between you two.
What Remains?
So, these are the thoughts I have about taking a break from your relationship. Remember that every relationship is different, and you should do it accordingly. If you have any such personal experience, then do feel free to share that with us in the comments section.
Best of luck!
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