Have you got recently divorced? How to handle divorce? Do you feel immense pain inside? Some kind of anxiety or depression has already taken over your heart. A certain surge in stressful emotion while dealing with divorce is quite common. Yes, we totally understand the sorrow along with the after effects of the divorce. Just like marriage, divorce is also natural.
How to Handle Divorce?
There are many cultures in the world that consider divorce or breaking up as one of the sins. However, it is certainly not any kind of sin. When you have already accepted the fact that the marriage is not really working, we are proud of you as you have chosen what you want. In such cases, divorces are the only way to get out of the prior state of mind.
Today, yes we know you don’t feel great and that is why you are here to know how to heal from the painful divorce or breakup. Therefore, yes we are ready to beat the surge of anxiety going on all over your body and we are here for your help. With the help of this excerpt, you will get to know about the coping mechanism of the human body. How we human generally deals with the heart-breaking situation and how it can help you.
Why Divorce is a Stigma and Seems Stressful?
In our society divorce is considered as the worst phase of any relationship where two individuals are not ready to adjust. On the contrary, divorce is just like any other part of a relationship and it is the result of longing quarrels or disagreements taking place in the life of two individuals. Nowadays, lots of marriages are ending in the divorce depending on different situations.
According to some cold figures and surveys, nowadays more than 45% of marriages are ending up in divorces. Still, it is not handled appropriately. People across the world have different manners and ways of handling breakups or divorces. Sometimes it really hits hard and you may remain affected even after a long time of divorce. Just we have to normalize this process of separation.
When a relationship stops working, you decide to have a divorce even for some good reason; the spilt can be stressful and full of sorrow. This happens because divorce is the stamp of separation where one loses the other partner. Suddenly all the happy partnerships collaborated on dreams, goals, hopes for future breaks. The psychology behind this separation triggers our minds to feel all the negative emotions.
A vulnerable situation occurs where both the parties have to start all over again. In such a situation, it might happen that one of the partners got immensely affected emotionally or physically because of the sudden separation that occurred. After all, it’s life and we have to live through all the ups and downs. You have to keep on reminding yourself that yes you are capable to go through this difficult situation also. For those types of people dealing with a highly painful situation, we have drafted some ways to cope with pain.
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Handle Divorce by Knowing Reasons
The reason behind divorces can be innumerable. It is all dependent on the partners and the type of relationship they are living in. Sometimes it is all about disappointment or we can consider frequent mutual disagreements. At any point of time in the marriage, it may be after 2 months or 20 years later, we have seen people getting divorced. When people start thinking about the problem in their marriage then the feeling of separation arises.
We have tried to enlist all the possible reasons of divorce we have read or analyzed about. Let us spread some wisdom for you also to find the excerpt relatable likely.
One of the very common reasons behind divorces nowadays is conflict or disagreement. The psychology of relationship states when people stay with each and gives company, after some time the mutual faith and space disappears. It becomes the reason behind frequent disagreement on any kind of topic between the two.
Lack of interest
Indeed interest is a matter of mind. If we will not possess the gratitude of being with a person, most things will not work at all. Lack of interest in each other’s happenings will grow the envy between the two. Now, you find your partner’s talks same boring and consider it as rant. One should always listen attentively first so that the opposite one feels connected.
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Violence or conflict
Domestic violence is also a very common base behind many divorces all around the world. When the partner doesn’t respect your action, thought or opinion, then the person is not worthy of your effort. Major conflict sometimes leads to physical violence or any kind of violence where the person may get hurt. Therefore, yes violence should not be tolerated in any form.
Engaging in extramarital affair or relationship is popular nowadays. Irrespective of gender, many marriages are not working because of adultery. At first, the unrealistic expectations from the marriage leads to disappointment. Every day minor issues take the form of conflicts and hence our inner self wants peace. To get peace, one starts looking forward for another partner to feel the change which finally occupies the term of adultery.
When we talk about how to handle divorce, loneliness comes an important role! One must have heard loneliness can be experienced in a room full of people. When any person starts feeling lonely in the relationship, it changes the perspective of the person. Then, they try to escape from the situation by breaking up or divorcing. Yes, loneliness is dangerous and it becomes toxic when it is experienced while being in a relationship.
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Why Divorce Rates are Reaching Skies?
Nowadays the relationship tenure has shortened because of the increased usage of social media. You must be thinking about how social media is related to this, yes you are thinking positively. Social media has opened up the list of options for us and it is readily accessible to us. Marriages used to work earlier and now the rate of divorces has gone up.
Just put yourself in that era where texting your ex wasn’t that easy at any point of time. We weren’t posting selfies or every smallest update on the social media wall. We weren’t not texting so many people on our phones whenever we felt alone. Instead of texting so many people, couples used to talk amongst themselves, cuddle and hug each other. We were not having so many options lined up before us.
It is now become easy to say it is not working between us. A solution to this problem is communicating and working on the entire problem we are facing with the partners instead of posting irrelevant things. If you really want to your relationships work, you have to put the effort into it. You should stop making your partner compete for your love.
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Tips to Cope up with Recent Divorce
The general life after divorce can become stressful for many people. Processing emotions along with experience is absolutely necessary for our life. The healing process generally slows down because of innumerable physical barriers in our society. If your mental state stays in the aftermath effect of divorce, then you are at the right place to correct it down.
If you have got recently divorced or still it is afresh in your mind, then it is high time to deal with it. It is absolutely alright to not feel great and feeling frustrating, stuck loneliness or stressful, guilt or betrayal, all these emotions are common and you should know that. Here, we are going to extend our helping hands to you by providing some tips to feel better after the divorce.
One can be in a depressed state or now feeling good, crying or sulking all the time, all these emotions are correct as per the situation in your life. What we want is to move you from the hole and want you to keep on moving. We don’t want you to be stuck in such pit. You have to get yourself back by utilizing all the below-mentioned tips from us.
Vent your emotion in physical training
Yes, you heard right. Physical training helps in the stabilization of the mind, helps to maintain focus. Who doesn’t want to reinvent oneself? The memories will keep on coming back to you about all that time you have lived together. You can’t stop that to happen, therefore make other way to vent all the emotion in other direction.
Sulking or being worried is alright because what you did is significant. Now, when everything is sorted you have to use the correct manner to vent all your emotion. Physical training will be of great help mentally and it will help you in staying in shape. Just remember everything else will leave you in this world but your body will never leave you. Take good care of yourself and your body.
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Accept the diversified emotions
Acceptance in such a situation is the key to heal. You have to understand the flow of emotion inside yourself. Consequently, feeling angry, sad, tired, confused or anxious is absolutely normal. Even the intensity of such a feeling can rise immensely inside you. What you have to do is to accept and let it happen. Such violent reactions or emotional surge will reduce with the passage of time.
No more fighting with conflicting emotions. Even those fears will stay inside you for a longer period. Keep on acknowledging such feelings. We often try to suppress or run away from the emotion in order to stay strong. However, staying strong doesn’t mean suppressing or running away from the thoughts, it means staying, acknowledging, and then living life to the fullest.
Stop and relax
Calm down, calm your processing power. Relax for a while and see the surrounding. Feel the originality of nature and things around you. A hobby sometimes acts as a great source to replenish energy. You can also get something which relaxes your mind. It is common to experience loneliness in this phase of life. You must understand if loneliness is not dealt with care, it will turn into something really harmful.
You have to remind yourself about the possibilities in the future. Just lie on bed and watch endless series or have a bucket of ice cream. Do whatever pleases you. You have already lost a lifestyle, pull yourself back and then launch a new self.
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Find someone to accompany
Divorce is a phase of life. To cope with such anxious phase you must have someone to lend you ears. Make sure you rely on some of the close friends or family members or on some trusted party. It is easy to do something in impulse, so at such type of time, your closed one will hold you. They will help you in refraining from silly activities.
Such activities are like an emotional rant, dialing while being drunk, nasty uploads on social wall and many more. Everyone knows you are hurt. People don’t think and do things in rush. Look for your true treasures and unleash yourself before them.
Utmost care for your mind and body
Fear is a common outcome of the divorce. Fear of being lonely or fear of starting a new relationship will exist. Sometimes, fear causes pain and it can be both emotional and physical as well. Increase of heart rate or numbness is the result of fear inside the mind. At such moments try to hold your mind and take good care. One can start meditating or enroll in some mind fullness course.
The body can only be kept healthy by eating good things. You have to embrace peacefulness not by excessive eating junk but by maintain your good body. We generally over eat or don’t eat whenever goes through the unhappy situation. You have to resist both situations. Eat healthy and stay fit.
Say no to arguments
This is one of the crucial tips for all the people who try to cope. You maintain your temper in impulsive situations. Some sorts of adrenaline run throughout the body and you have to control the effects. You may have some overwhelming amount of stress which may result in impulsive behavior. At such time, simply stay away from the arguments.
Sometimes discussions lead to fatal arguments. You have to keep calm in such a vulnerable situation by saying we can discuss this later. This will help you in restoring energy and not wasting it in useless stuff.
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Find your interests
Now, when you have plenty of room in your mind and in your daily life, go find something that cheers you up. Anything you always wanted to do but somehow it wasn’t happening. Do such things which boost your confidence.
Explore the handball team or learn to play guitar or piano and many more such activities. Eventually, the exploration process involves meeting new people, new experiences in life. Therefore, it is one of the best ways to recover from such a huge emotional loss.
Positive thinking will help
When you are trying to imbibe so many good things in order to cope with a stressful situation, why not try a positive outlook towards life. We know all things have changed and it is not the same at all, but still you have to embrace all the new things to cope.
This is the transitional period where the reasonable expectations from yourself will help in the transition. Invest your time in searching and adapting new activities. Even if you have children, help them in starting a new and different lifestyle.
Try to stabilize things
Sometimes staying normal also gets hard. One must put all effort into stabilizing the new normal in life. We also know all the habits and activities without the former partner get different. However, adopting new changes in life is absolutely necessary.
You have to identify required changes and adapt it in the life; make it normal for you now. Most likely, try to express whatever you feel and as soon as your feeling will stabilize it will help you to bloom.
Also Read: Signs for break up with partner
Grieve for better
After the separation, grief will surround you for sure. You should have the realization of thoughts in which you are already accepting all of the things you feel inside your body. Now the time has arrived where you have to grieve in order to clean your mind and body internally.
Liberate your fear and if you have grief express it for good. This help in cleaning preconceived notions and negative vibe from your mind. Whether it is the feeling of resentment, fear, confusion the overall impact will be released once you are ready to grieve and accept.
Maintain focus on moving on
The ultimate truth of life is to keep on changing and moving on with the pace of life. Ultimately you have to fix the aim at moving on in life. No matter how much you are worried or shattered; there is a chance to rebound all over again.
You can re-build dreams, hopes, and desires, you just have to know the fact of reconfiguration. All the emotional needs are constantly fulfilled in order to move on. Heal from it and let go of negative emotions.
Maintain a journal, mention all of the things you feel and you go through. The society will make you feel terrible; sometimes all the memories will come back and you will feel numb. Journaling will help in the skill of expression on a paper.
It goes straight from the heart and mind to the paper where we may feel relaxed. All the emotional struggles stories will have the perfect residence on the paper. Just jotting down on the white blank sheet surely helps in relieving stress disorder. Writing about such disturbed experience helps in healing.
Prefer professional support if needed
It is better to consult a professional if things don’t seem appropriate inside you. On some point of life, someone can’t lend a hand to start everything from scratch. At such time, consider a consultation with a spiritual mentor or therapist to help you out.
A professional help is always better than no guidance at all in life. At least the professional will let you know understand the entire situation by yourself. A new aspect might make things east to go for you.
Take things slowly
Make yourself capable of handling things slowly yet calmly. The new changes inside you will be tempting and you can now see a new personality inside yourself. Here also you have to keep on taking things smoothly.
Get back into the earlier ways of interaction whether it was through dating or casual sex. You have to reacquaint with your body. After so much of time together with your partner, you have forgotten the ultimate pleasurable things. Add those spices in your life and make it a memorable one.
Finances are yet another perspective which gets highly affected by the separation or divorce. If you have become a single parent now, try to take care of money through money management techniques. Take charge of your expenses thoroughly.
Personal finance course or some tips and tricks to manage money will be of great help for sure. Long-time investments prove out to be some of the best ways to handle such situations. You can choose to start some profitable source of investment starting from this moment also.
The final cut
There are two different aspects associated with the divorce. One is of female side and other is male side. Though getting through the process can be equally hard for both. Our society has this mechanism to make the person feel guilty. Divorce in itself can be found as a dirty word, still after so much education and exposure, it is still a social taboo amongst us.
People who have been divorced feel an epitome of resentfulness and scary thoughts. With the help of this article, we have tried to help all such people by spreading awareness about the problem, cause and solution. Altogether, if one wants to be happy, it is really important to have the mindfulness in it. One should not leave hope at any cost. Everything is temporary whether it is pain, trauma or stress. Any question on how to handle divorce, let us know!
Refer to our a few articles.