Hey, do you have an idea what are Likely Scenarios if You Bump into Your Ex! ‘Love’ is something that everyone has experienced in some way or the other. Also, with this feeling, comes what is inevitable – ‘heartbreak’. There are very few cases where the first love turns out to be the love of life. We tend to get into relationships and get out of them but the moments spent with each other stay forever!
Likely Scenarios if You Bump into Your Ex
Well, break-ups are healthy! When two people who once cared for each other and had romantic feelings for each other are not finding each other compatible anymore, then it is better to lead separate lives than being miserable together.
In spite of all these rational explanations, love, feelings or emotions, do not always dwell in the territory of rationality. Even after a break-up and a subsequent promise of not seeing each other ever again, there is somewhere a desire that lies in the heart to get a glimpse of the other person – be it a public place, a gathering, a party or wherever.
Now, after your break-up and bump into your ex – what can happen? It is really difficult to anticipate how both of you will react at that very moment! Also, it depends on the kind of break-up you had. If the break-up was mutual and ended peacefully the outcome of bumping into ex will be different, again if you had a nasty break-up, it goes without saying that the outcome will be different.
Here are certain probable scenarios that might take place if you bump into your ex at a public place:
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Actions speak louder than words
There are times when both individuals have to put an end to a relationship, not because they have fallen out of love but because they just want different things. One can argue that if two people want to be with each other then why this situation cannot be sorted out together?
Well, adjustments and compromises are a part of a relationship. However, in certain cases, you have to weigh if making that compromise is truly worth it even if you are terribly fond of the other person. After all, you certainly do not want your comfort zone to turn into a dumpster for your disgust!
In such cases, the feelings continue to stay in both individuals. It may happen that you get a glimpse of the other person, at a mall or on the streets or at a party.
Sometimes it may happen that you do not want to confront each other as it might trigger a lot of memories and you are not sure whether you will be able to control yourself. So, it is best if you observe them, see them from a distance and relish the fact that what you two had was special but the person has not got or will get what he or she wanted and deserved.
Again, there can be cases when you two just bump into each other and cannot avoid talking a word or two. Well, this is going to be difficult as so many memories will keep coming back but you are not sure whether to tell them or not. Even you are not sure what to tell the other person, what to ask the other person. This is true for both individuals.
You try hard not to let the emotions get better of you. You realize that you are at a public place and so to avoid any kind of drama or vulnerable situation, both of you ask each other, “How are you?” as if you two had known as each perhaps as classmates, neighbors, or colleagues!
You want to make sure that the other person is happy but you do not have the courage to ask, maybe because you are afraid or maybe because you are guilty. You would just like to believe that the other person is happy and doing well! That is how life works.
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A journey on the time machine?
As we were talking earlier, there are certain relationships that have to end because the people involved in them want different things, not because they are not connecting with each other anymore. Well, if you have faced such a situation then you know that you tend to miss the other person terribly, you want to be with the person and yet you cannot!
Now, if you bump into that person suddenly, let’s say at a mall or at some party – what is it going to be like? Definitely, you will be happy to see the person! You will put everything aside and talk with the person and talk and talk. Just like the old days!
The basis of all relationships is friendship, without it, no relationship on Earth can survive. When you get to see that special person after a long time, it is this friendship that rekindles. You chat and chat and feel happy. It seems that you are living the old times. You may find this moment to be more special and tend to share certain things with the other person that you normally don’t share with many people. It is because you know that you do not have any obligations and commitments with each other now. You know that this is just for one time. After this, both of you will go back to your own lives and perhaps never meet each other again!
Reliving the glory that you once had in your relationship is something that is very idealistic. Also, there are not many people who get the chance to meet their ex when they had a mature break-up. So, in case you do get the chance, it is important to enjoy that moment. Yes, you two might not be together anymore and never will be but that does not mean that the time you spent together meant nothing.
You mutually decided to put an end to the relationship because you did not want to be the reason of hatred for your partner. What you shared was special and you parted ways on your own terms. With this meeting also, after the beautiful conversation, you should retain the fact why you are not together, be happy for each other, and go back to lead your respective lives.
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Want to close the case?
Often in a ‘break-up’ if there is no proper closure, it tends to get on the nerves of a person. You keep wondering what went wrong, what was the problem, and so on. Probably, the time when you broke up, both of you were upset and overwhelmed by the emotions. So, none of you got a proper closure. And if you are not sure why your relationship ended, it is certainly not a good and desirable feeling.
In such a situation, if you ever get the chance to bump into your ex at a public place, you should try to get the closure. One of the major and clichéd advises that you get from your friends and families after a break-up is ‘move on’. But in order to move on, closure is important.
Since you are going to meet each other after a long time if you bump into your ex, then it is a good time to talk it through a get a closure. At the time of the break-up, certain elements and issues may seem too sensitive to address and anger overpower all the other emotions. When you see things at a distance, it will be possible to address the issues and think in retrospect what went wrong, why you two are not together anymore!
This is going to be a very balanced and unbiased retrospect. Break-ups are not the results of a single person or the mistakes of one person. Both the individuals involved in a relationship are responsible for a break-up. So, instead of blaming each other, it is mature and fruitful if one decides to understand what went wrong about the relationship.
Sometimes, break-ups are the heat of the moment decisions and both persons are not ready to discuss about it and choose a process of denial which is not healthy. In that case, there is not a proper closure. The lack of a proper closure will not allow a person to move on. So, it is better that if you get a chance don’t refrain to talk about it and get some clarity. You will find it easier to move on. Also, there may be hostilities among you regarding some issues and matters which can go away simply by talking.
You can argue that what is the need to bump into your ex for this? One can simply call one’s ex and talk it through. It sounds healthy but often it does not happen. There is a certain amount of bitterness associated with break-ups that refrain from taking these decisions. One needs a push to indulge into these conversations. Well, the push may not work if it comes from a person but can work if it is an accident!
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Meeting Richard from F.R.I.E.N.D.S
F.R.I.E.N.D.S is one of the most popular American sitcoms and we all are aware of the relationship dynamic of Monica and Richard. They used to date and seemed to be perfect for each other. However, the main drawback in their relationship seemed to be the age difference and for that despite their feelings for each other both wanted different things – Monica wanted kids and Richard did not. That is when they decided to break up!
After some time Richard bumped into Monica and they went out for lunch together. They also started meeting each other. They even decided to be ‘friends who sleep together’, an idea that Monica finally discarded as she knew that it was not going to work. It is something that Monica said that everyone must remember as the reason why they are not together with the person who seemed to be special even after the break-up. Getting over Richard was the hardest thing that Monica had to do, they still wanted different things and so Monica did not allow her feelings to get the better of her because if she got attached to Richard again, she cannot go through the trauma of getting over him again.
The reason for citing this instance from the popular sitcom is to realize that we cannot always tend to be rational. There are times when we listen to our hearts but at the end of the day, we should keep in mind that we broke-up, and going over through the same thing again might not be a very good idea.
Yes, we all have our versions of Richard. And there is a reason why we are not together. Whatever the case may be, we must not spoil our peace of mind by taking some random decisions. Whatever we do in these situations, we must consider the consequences.
More and more drama
In all of the above situations, we were talking of instances where the sudden meeting with the ex ends in a matured civilized way. However, it is not desirable but sometimes the meeting may not end up in such a peaceful manner.
We have witnessed that break-ups can be messy and miserable. This is a frequent occurrence mostly in case of toxic relationships. In case of toxic relationships, the break-ups are toxic as well and it is not a surprise if a sudden encounter between the two individuals turns out to be toxic.
When two people in a toxic relationship break-up, they tend to point fingers at each other, bring in a lot of private matters, and break out into a messy fight, not literally though that is also not unusual. They say certain things to each other which are not respectful and neither civilized. These break-ups inevitably end without a closure and the people seem to be in denial – denial of their own faults. Both of them think that they were right!
So, their bumping into each other will trigger things and situations may turn out to be messy in public. It seems like to be a continuation of what happened during their break-up – the same blame game, insulting comments, and disruption on mental peace. Also, since it is a public place, this will gather an audience. It will be also disturbing for the people out there. At the same time, it will be embarrassing for the passers-by as well as for the individuals themselves.
This is a kind of situation that is not desirable by anyone but still takes place. It is better if we can be a little more thoughtful and avoid these situations in public. These arguments are not a solution to anything instead it caters to the bitterness which is very much in existence among the two people.
As we have discussed, we are not always guided by reasons but in case of these sensitive issues, we should try to be overwhelmed by the emotions and should retain our sense of civility and reason. We must not do anything for which we might have to regret later.
Return with a satisfaction
If you ever bump into your ex, there is a high possibility that you might see the person with someone else. Well, it can be painful for you; this is definitely going to trigger several memories, more so if you are alone.
At the same time, you tend to feel good for the other person, to see the person happy. In these situations, there is no scope for drama at all. These meetings or these chance encounters more often than not end with ‘Hi’; ‘Hello’; ‘How are you? and ‘What you are doing?’
There can be situations when there can be pretentions that they might not know you at all and hence no scope for these small chit-chats. However, if they talk to you, there will be an eagerness in you to know how the other person introduces you to his or her partner.
In these kinds of encounters, there may be some kind of impact of your life, especially if you are not involved with anyone. You go back home and then you tend to think that was it a mistake to end the relationship? Did you try enough? Were there ways to mend it?
All these thoughts might disrupt your life. But at the end of the day, you should be clear to yourself, you should be true to yourself. On the surface whatever thoughts may crop up but you should know the reason why you two are not together anymore. These thoughts will come at first but if you are clear to yourself these will not have any destructive impact.
If you feel that you need a closure then talk it out, get a closure. It will be helpful for both of you in the long run!
A friend in need is a friend indeed
The scenario about which we will be speaking now is somewhat an ideal situation. The majority of the people tend to believe that once you break-up, you cannot be friends anymore. They have their arguments for this case as well.
If you end a relationship and yet decide to stay friends, it might get complicated. Things may remain the same except for the fact both persons seem to be in denial. Also, being friends means being close to each other and this will trigger emotions. If people decide to stay friends even if they end their relationship, both of them have to be matured or else things will get complicated eventually.
On the other hand, as we have said that friendship is the basis of all relationships. We know true friends are truly rare and hard to find these days. Relationship means taking friendship to the next stage. There existed a mutual trust among the two people, so they decided to be with each other. So, when they decide to break-up and not to be together, why does the friendship have to end?
There is an infinite amount of trust in a friendship. Before ending a friendship, one must truly consider if one really wants to give away this trust, or is it really worth to part with this trustworthy friend.
It may so happen that at the moment of break-up, it seems like we cannot remain friends with the person with whom we have been in a relationship with. But then with the passage of time, we tend to miss the other person, we miss not being in a relationship but the companion and we yearn to go back to the person.
So, what will we do if we suddenly bump into that person? It is really difficult to anticipate the scenarios as there are a number of factors and relationship dynamics to be considered. But losing a friend does not sound a very good idea at the end of the day.
However, at the same time, this is a decision that is not entirely yours to take. The other person will also have to feel the same way and be comfortable with this. Only then this kind of a friendship can exist. But either of you should ensure that you are not forcing it, if that is the case, in the beginning, everything might seem to be good but the same problems will crop up in the course of time.
In case of a scenario where you had been good friends with your ex before relationship and then you bump into each other, both of you are going to be emotional. This is evident. The days of friendship, the sweet memories, the time spent with each other, all these memories will come back.
And now since a considerable amount of time has passed, both might miss each other as friends. Both of you can sit down somewhere and talk it out with each other. Try to understand what the other person is feeling, what the other person is thinking. If things go well, you can get back your lost friend!
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