Hey body, would you like to know a stepwise guide on how to handle breakup or heartbreak? In the world of love, relationship, and affection, we all have gone through breakups. Do you find yourself too attached to the memories? Are you not ready to accept and realize your worth? Do you find living with a broken heart hard? These entire questions will resonate once when you are into a heartbreak phase of life.
There is nothing to worry about here. As we know, you are here to know what is written over in the post-breakup phase to deal with. You are at all the correct places for sure. We will unfold all the aspects regarding break up and how to heal and deal with it normally.
Love is mutual, but the breakup is sometimes one-sided. The party which faces the utmost pain takes a lot of time to recover. It has never been easy at all. Struggling after a breakup is common, yet most look for an answer. Why with me, god, why?
What Do We Understand From a Breakup?
Break up simply means separating away or calling it an end to a relationship. Sometimes it is for good, and other times it’s just meant to heal you. Breakup is a phase of life where everything seems pale, and you lose interest in everything. Dumping is another term used for breakup initiated by a single partner.
The consequences of a breakup are a bit disturbing. A constant sense of despair, sadness, and anxiety exists. Generally, the mechanism of a relationship ends when anyone in the couple starts deviating from maintaining a good term with others. It may discretely affect another person. People have different ways of handling breakups.
It can be extremely stressful, unpleasant, and disturbing. The negative effects are more dominant in this phase of life. One blames the other one and makes them responsible for a bad vibe in their life. The reaction to grief exists differently. We all have observed someone who will be showing potential stalking nature. Constantly seeing their posts, status, last seen, and not everything appears in this life mode.
The breakup pain is so profound and impactful that sometimes it releases us to nowhere. You don’t know what to do next. We all want to make a pill that can numb breakup pain, but we know it doesn’t exist. Therefore, some information can soothe our broken hearts, and you can read it in this excerpt.
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Stages of Breakup
We all know to break up sucks and are full of suffering. There is no way other than going through the hoops. Right now, whichever kind of pain you are going through, you should know it is not going to last long. As already defined, it is just the mental state where you are with no one beside you to understand the numbing pain.
Breakups with love, boyfriend, partner, spouse, girlfriend, or best friend all of them hurt us. Disappointment, anger, sadness establishes in the mind and body. However, the time has the healing power for all of it. Consequently, the heart copes in seven different stages we will talk about.
Answer obsession
Confusion is the main reason behind being hurt. We all want closure often at the end of any relationship. However, it doesn’t come easily at all. More importantly, there is no change in the outcome after or before closure, and it remains the same—this stage of a breakup which anyone goes through faces the determination to get the answers. The answers may come from the ex’s family, friends, or coworkers. We all play detective in this phase, and with time it gets old. Then you enter into the next stage.
Denial of facts
You may have stopped looking for answers and clues. Your mind doesn’t seem ready to accept things in this way yet. The process seems big, and you aren’t ready to process it still. So, the simplest escape to this is avoiding now and hoping it will end. Just like a bad dream, you want it to end. You can’t accept the facts and henceforth keep on denying the facts.
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Full of despair
Truth is inescapable. No matter how much you run away from accepting the truth, it will reach you somehow. With this, you enter into the third stage by blaming you and asking why me only? You let the salty water from your eyes out. This is the point of grief for you, and it will lead you to the reflection after some time. The temptation for alcohol, drugs, or food will increase as you think it will keep you away from the truth.
Rebound
You are somewhat now able to see that the breakup has already happened before you. Just you have landed into a phase where you are not at all ready to let them go. The rebound phase has started where you want to win them back, and you think about situations in which you find them a perfect fit. You sent sorry letters bouquets to make them come back in your life, with millions of reasons in your mind why you want your partner back.
Anger on the table
You tried to welcome the partner in your life again, but it didn’t work. Now, you are fed up and angry about the entire situation in the first place. Grudges will make a home in your heart. You will keep holding grudges because it is better than not holding on to anything at all. It is quite natural to hold anger towards your former partner. You consider your ex as the reason behind all the pain. Any rash decision in this phase will make things worse; allow your aura to recover.
Accept and let go
Even after the immense anger, gradually, it fades away with time. You get tired of resenting your former one. Finally, you as a personality try to accept the healthier fact by accepting the break up for what it is. Bitterness towards the partner seems to fade away, and yes, you aren’t happy all of a sudden. Finally, you can acknowledge the relationship part you played. In the corner of your heart, you have accepted the breakup leading to the final stage of the breakup.
Optimism
The final breakup stage arrives where you have already found peace and somehow pain is low. To whomsoever you have ever loved, you harbor a place for the person. The feelings of getting scared and doubtful have made some space inside you. However, with time the heart already knows how to mend it. When you are mentally ready, you will start looking for another partner. Dating sweeps in your life. The past relationship is no more living inside you; it has a corner to tell you the lessons associated with it.
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How to deal with a breakup?
Breakups are hard. It is difficult to deal with whether it is a dumper or dumpee. The heart-shattering sadness has already made its residence in your heart. Moving on or coping with it seems hard but is not. All you have to do is accept the fact and let things go on. It has been made this way, and sweet things turn sour with time.
The vacant time between the breakup and new relationship can sometimes lead to depression or finding self-worth. The two options are already there; now, you have to decide how to lead a life with depression or find self-love. Needing help amidst this vacant time is natural and organic.
Here we are enlisting some ways to handle ourselves when it comes to a breakup. To move on and learn how to live life happily, it is important to know what and how to do it. Otherwise, suffering is more, and the coping mechanism will work slowly. These tips will help you to put yourself back together after parting ways.
Experience it or live it
Dealing with a breakup is possible by experiencing it. Don’t distract yourself; the flow of emotions will be there, and you have to feel it one by one. Irrespective of the nature of time, good or bad, you have to let yourself feel it. There will be the urge to cry, at that moment, cry. It is a way to vent your stress, and it is extremely therapeutic. Don’t think crying is bad, and it is about losing control of your emotions.
Instead, crying is all about gaining back control of emotions by crying. You will have to bear this difficult situation to get a taste of the good and bad phases of life. You shall know that you can’t escape from emotions or feelings. You will have to face it off guard.
Keep distance
After the initial breakup shock, the fading promise of being friends somewhere. You have to remember to distance yourself from your ex. Any communication will make things worse. No calls, texts, DMS, or even say no sharing posts you find relevant. Mutual contact with people, friends, or families will harm your inner peace. Try to avoid meeting mutual friends or families.
You don’t have to keep on avoiding them in the longer run. However, it is integral to keep your side away to heal your heart naturally and move on. The hurtful feelings go away, then consider meeting with mutual friends and families. Please don’t seek out your ex to meet or talk.
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Avoid anger and addiction.
Dealing with anger differs according to people. The physical outrages of pain sometimes lead to drugs and alcohol. It might give you pleasure for a short time, but it is completely useless. Avoid such harmful ways to escape from the heartbreak pain. It is understood why people get inclined to use drugs and other narcotic products.
The intense aggression after the heartbreak, such as rage, hatred, or anger, shall be utilized at a gym or physical activity. It helps in blood circulation, henceforth making you peaceful. Get the heart pumping and avoid narcotic usage.
Encircle yourself with the support
When any person is hurting, it is damn easy to distance yourself from other people and keep the painful side to yourself. Questioning self-worth starts when you ask, are you not good enough? It becomes important to surround yourself with positivity and people who support you at such a time or phase.
This will help you move away from your ex, but it will be really good for your injured ego. It is because of the reinforcement of self-esteem and rebuilding of self-worth. Take your time to remember your identity.
Grief properly
You have to feel your emotions appropriately and deal with them. It is a natural reaction to push everything down and pretend as nothing happened in the first place. The world never stops for anyone. This time it is you, and whether you like it or not, the world is not going to stop. The grief or loss can only be felt as we are humans.
We will feel, and you have to let yourself feel the anger, confusion, pain, self-doubt, and sad emotions. We all know acknowledging such emotions are really scary. Despite knowing the fact, it is necessary to face them and deal with them. Spare some time and grieve for the relationship for what it was and what it would have been.
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No need to give up
Please don’t let the negative emotions hold you and consume you. You deserve a better life and believe us, and you will have it. Instead of taking things negatively, consider your wellness and contribution to yourself. After how many struggles you are here, standing tall against the entire worst situation.
Never feel bad about yourself, or do not question your worth. Sometimes when we lose something important, we enter into the self-questioning phase. We doubt ourselves and may think we cannot keep things good. However, it is not the case. The world will seem to end after the person walks away from your life. A good relationship lets you grow and bloom before the multi-dimensional world.
Minimize the blame game
Keep the blame game low. You want to let the other know what they have lost. You can surely do that but not by blaming. The full right over your former partner has gone. Therefore, the blame game will take place. You have to be less functional on that point of debate. We should not prove ourselves correct before others.
Moreover, it is no longer a matter of what or who is correct or not. It is no one’s fault, and you don’t have to point out whose fault it is. This is not under our control. You should appreciate whatever happened and let go of the blame game. The true personality will come up at this point where you will surely know who truly loves the other one by keeping silent.
Get some space
After being with another person, we tend to forget what we are as individuals. You have to become your person all again. Do whatever you feel the urge to do. Try to think about yourself. Get the amazing sense of independence all over again. Get rid of the thought that you have lost something or someone.
There are numerous ways to rediscover the independence you lost while being with someone else. A nice dinner for yourself or a solo trip will open your mind wisely. Reevaluate all your goals; even having a nice and achievable health goal will help renew your thought chain. Talk your heart out.
Some of the days feel like overwhelming days. More loneliness, the feeling of pain, all reach their limits. We all feel our heart is burdened with such emotions resulting in feeling helpless. Many people worldwide tend to bounce back from breaking up from their own, but it is not the same with others.
For some people, it becomes hard to cope with emotions. They will have the urge to talk to someone. It can be anyone, parent, guide, mentor, friend, or therapist. Talking to another person fearlessly helps in sorting out emotions in any relationship. If you are feeling depressed, seek out help without any delay.
Spend time with friends and family
As already depicted in one of the tips, you have to reach out to family and friends in such dire situations. They are around for a reason. Remember, you consoled someone from your family while going through a rough situation. It is the perfect time for payback. No matter what, true friends and family will always find a way to support you.
Don’t be afraid to call for their time and attention, and they will surely be ready to help you out. Reconnection with family members helps you to feel good. Many times we take our family for granted. Now is the perfect time to cook together and have some quality time. Volunteer yourself if someone requires help. Eventually, it will help you reconnect back with the world.
Self-interrogation and reflection
Despite having a very good time together, something went wrong along the way. Once you feel comfortable in your skin, take some time to realize what went wrong in the relationship. The mistakes you make will help you understand the non-functional part. This tip will help you analyze your mistakes and what you did in the failed relationship.
You may take lessons from here and apply them in future relationships. By this time it is really important to take good care of yourself. To get the self-reflection, a glance at the mirror will tell you so many things you never imagined about yourself.
Find a hobby
Do you remember you wanted to learn guitar? Take a yoga class, read the same book you bought three years ago. Now you have more time to focus on your desires and goal. Make use of this time and identify something you love doing. This tip will keep you engaged and help in recover from heartbreak. Find a new hobby, or you may take a class you have wanted to enroll in.
This will help you get more out of it, and you will be meeting new people to rebuild bonds. More importantly, a new task will refresh your mind and help you recover from the painful bush of a breakup.
Clear your living space
Now, when you have cleared your thinking space, you have cleared your living space. Organize your space to get some fresh vibes. Get rid of things that you both shared. Seeing things you both share will bring a flood of memories and push you into the sad, gloomy memory lane. Consider redecoration and buy some new things to place.
Changing drapes, redecorating sofa, coffee table realignment, or painting the entire room into new colors, anything can help. Remove all those things which trigger you in to your past. On the other hand, you have to keep learning to acknowledge changes. Embrace with an open heart.
The final call
Whenever you have followed the shock of the initial separation, the feeling of anger, grief, and sadness is crippling and mind-numbing. It is critical to remind yourself that all the heartbreak you have experienced in your life is a chapter in the book of your life. It should be taken as experience. Each of the breakups has helped you to know your self-worth and brings you closer to finding your soul mate. It is all about how one deals with heartbreak. Having fun is also necessary to dance once you are done with yourself. Make each day memorable because, after a few years, you will back and say, look how much I learned from that mistake.
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