Want to End Your Casual Relationship? We will discuss 17 ways that can help!
Breakups Hurt!
This is the first and foremost fact for anyone who is into a relationship. Regardless of the type of relationship, when your partner breaks up with you, it will surely hurt like hell! However, procrastinating on a breakup that is meant to happen can seriously make you feel hurt even more.
Compared to that, it is always better to break up as early as possible. This way, you can avoid hurting the other person and yourself as well. But when do you need to do a breakup like this?
The Casual Relationship?
Just by the term of it, I believe you can figure out the nature of the relationship. But no one is saying is that it is a kind of sin. Sometimes we meet people and get instantly attracted to them. However, we realize that there is no emotional depth to this relationship, and that’s why you feel like ending it very soon.
But how can you be sure that it is a casual relationship? Needless to say, a breakup can surely make your partner upset and make you feel bum out. This is why you need to identify if your relationship is really a casual one or not.
So, what are the signs?
- Lack of emotional depth is perhaps the best possible indication of a casual relationship. At first, you may see that instant connection, but with time, you will realize that it is more of a physical attraction, and the relationship starts suffering from emotional immaturity.
- If your supposed relationship is born out of infatuation, then definitely it will reach its end very soon. When you are infatuated with someone, then very soon, you realize that there is no emotional maturity in the relationship. If you don’t connect on an emotional level, then carrying the relationship can be quite difficult.
- If you fail to place your trust in your partner in a moment of crisis, then you can conclude that the relationship doesn’t have real commitment. After all, when you love someone with all your heart and soul, you would surely feel like counting on that person through thick and thin. If that is something you don’t feel, then it is better to end the relationship on a quiet note before things get better.
- None of you ever talked about commitment. This is another classic state where none of the partners ever really talked the big talk. You never really saw any future in this relationship; however, you continued to be in it because it seemed fun to you. Frankly, the most casual relationship goes on for a longer period of time because loyalty and commitment are something that not everyone can handle.
- You often feel like dating or mingling with someone else. If you even have the slightest emotional connection with your partner, then you wouldn’t feel attracted to other people ever so often. This presents the fact that you are not even willing to commit to that person. If you take such a relationship forward, then it can only have a bitter end.
- You feel nothing at all about the relationship apart from fun and excitement. In a casual relationship, you wouldn’t feel even the slightest of possessiveness for your partner. Rather, you would be quite happy and content with your own life and the way it is with you. On the other hand, you will be bothered to take commitments and may even find it boring to act as a couple. All you would ever feel like is having a casual approach and having some fun with your partner.
Also Read: My Boyfriend Doesn’s Respect Me
How to Break Up from a Casual Relationship?
Breaking up with your casual relationship will seem quite necessary over time because as it goes on, one of you is bound to feel the sting of love. However, if the other person is still not on the same page, then things can turn bitter. But if you don’t wish to end it like that, then these tips below will help you end the relationship in a quiet manner. Who knows, maybe due to this you can develop a healthy friendship afterward. No matter what, it is worth a try, isn’t it?
So, let’s look at the tips:
Don’t Procrastinate
The first and the foremost mistake that people make in this case is pushing the break up further away every day, even when both of you feel the need for a breakup instinctively. You push them away to avoid the emotional turmoil. However, the mature thing to do in this case is, to be honest with your words as early as possible.
This is the only way you can avoid hurting yourself and your partner. The longer you will take, the more feelings both might develop. However, with feelings, commitment will not come. Hence, just sit with your partner as early as possible and talk it through.
Try to Tell It Yourself
I mean, this is really a very lame thing to do and not to mention rude. Some people lack the guts and courage to face their partner before breaking up. For that reason, they often rely on a third person and ask them to convey their sentiments to them. This is something you shouldn’t do at all because it can only make things all the more bitter.
When you were the one who enjoyed the relationship all this while, then you must be the one to end it as well. Just avoid any middle man and sit with your partner face to face and tell her honestly about your feelings. Maybe she will feel upset, but at least she will give you full marks for being courageous.
If Possible, then Meet Face-to-Face
Some people don’t even want to face their relationship while saying the words to them. Hence, they try to call them and tell them everything over the phone. This is also something not every desirable either. For this reason, try to face your partner face to face and then confess everything that you have to say.
He/she deserves to let their emotions flow for you and be honest with their opinion. Over the phone, you would hardly be privy to their reaction. I believe you owe this much to your partner. So, just meet up somewhere snug and comfy and tell her what you are thinking about the relationship lately.
Also Read: Guy Stops Talking to you
Stop Being Intimate
When you are in a casual relationship, you will get to have a lot of casual sex. While all that is no sin, you should refrain from doing it any further if you have plans on breaking up the relationship. You cannot just be continuously intimate with the person you wish to break up.
This will definitely send out a kind of the wrong impression. So, when you have decided to break up, then stop fooling around with her immediately. It can also give her a kind of signal as well and make her prepare for what follows.
Look for the Right Moment
Timing is everything, and when it comes to breaking up, timing is essential. We know that we are talking about a breakup, but that doesn’t mean you need to break up on her without thinking about the timing. Maybe it is her birthday, or maybe something really terrible is happening with her life, so make sure you don’t break up with her during this period. It will make him/her feel that you have just used her for your whim and now dumping him/her for good when you are done.
Try and find the right time to sit and talk about the issue. It is better to choose a time when things are fine and your partner is not going through any kind of emotional turmoil because the breakup itself will give her enough emotional turmoil.
Choose the Right Words
Maybe your timing was perfect; maybe you even mustered up the courage to speak your heart out face to face. But the great mistake that you made is nothing related to these things but the words you choose while describing your point.
Words can mend or break your heart. Remember the days when you had charmed her? It was because of the words you spoke, right? You said all the right things to create the right kind of impression, isn’t it?
The same can be said in this matter as well. While breaking up with someone, you need to choose the words carefully. This will help you convey what you wish to say clearly and maybe the adverse impact on her heart can also be avoided.
Try and Indicate Why It is Needed
Just breaking up with someone is never justified; you need to explain at some kind of reason to justify the breakup. Hence, when you are breaking up, try and explain the positive sides of the breakup and how it will help you both in the long run.
This is perhaps the only way to make her feel less upset and justify this state. Most people are often in the phase of self-denial. They try to convince themselves that the relationship is pure and hardly casual. However, making them face the truth will require some kind of reasoning.
Also Read: How to tackle relationship issues
Don’t Give in to the Plea of Friendship Immediately
This is actually a kind of defence mechanism for a lot of people. The initial shock of the breakup makes them quite numb, and they desperately try to hold on to the relationship as much as possible. To do that, they would often ask you to continue the friendship that you have between you two.
However, you shouldn’t give in to this request so soon. After all, being friends with your ex is not a very easy thing to do. Plus, you should also give yourself some time before you go into this kind of friendship. Just take some time, see how things develop, and based on that, make your decision.
Try to Use “I” Instead of “We”
When you are explaining your point, it is better to just keep the “we”s to a minimum and use more and more “I” in the discussion. After all, the idea here is to explain why the relationship is not working for you and how you can be incapable of taking it forward. The reason behind doing this is that you are the one who is initiating the breakup after all.
When you use the word “we” a bit too often, it actually makes the blame fall on both of you. Now, this can cause a feud between you two, and it can tear the relationship apart forever. But when you use “I”, it shows that you know how to take responsibility for your action. This small thing during the conversation can bring about a massive change in the end.
Don’t Follow up so Ardently
Once you have broken up with your partner, you don’t have to follow up on him/her so ardently. This may sometimes send the wrong impression about your intentions. There is nothing wrong with caring about the person you are in love with, but that should never be at the cost of your own self-respect.
You can stay in touch with each other but try to do that moderately. You don’t have to do anything over the top. Rather, by not mingling too much into his/her life, you will actually do a favor. Everyone needs some time to get over a relationship, and you should allow the person to have that.
Try to Disconnect Each Other on Social Media
Frankly, nowadays, social media has become the indicator of what we are up to in our lives. If you follow someone on social media, then you can immediately find out what they are doing lately and what they are up to. But if you have just broken up with someone, then it is not at all a good thing to do.
Maybe your partner has moved on quite quickly and is not posting various photos of his/her newfound friends. As his/her ex, it can be quite emotionally taxing to go through all that. Hence, it is always advisable not to follow him/her on social media anymore. You can also completely detach yourself from social media for some time.
Also read: 201 First Date Questions
Stop Calling Her
Maybe you have conquered the temptation of meeting her, but still, you feel like listening to her voice. In that case, my friend, you are still hooked up on the past. You just cannot call her like that every time you feel low or some occasion is around the corner.
Coming out of a casual relationship can really affect you in multiple ways. So, the more you will stay connected with your ex, the more emotionally hurt you will be. Some may even experience things like jealousy and self-doubt. To avoid all that, just tell yourself that whatever happened happened for the best and move on.
Don’t Discuss It with Your Friends Too Much
I know that it is a huge thing to happen in your life, and you cannot just walk past it right away. However, you must not discuss it too much. Because every time you will discuss it, some more bitterness will be formed in your heart. Your friends might also take your side and tell you how much you have been wronged by your partner.
But all this is not at all healthy for moving on. Remember, you cannot move on from someone when you hate that person so much. This is why you need to stop discussing with your friends all the nitty-gritty of the affair. This will only cost you your mental peace.
Understand the Other-side
Maybe for you, the relationship was indeed casual. But for your partner, maybe it was something much more serious. This is why you need to be very careful with the words you are using for your partner.
You have to understand that he/she is in a vulnerable state, and your choice of words can create a lot of impact on her. This way, you have to be very careful about how you break the news to her. This is why I have said before that you must meet her face to face to tell her the news.
It can at least help you bring the situation under control. Another thing is that don’t assume any outcome. A lot of people have the tendency to assume what the other person might think beforehand. My suggestion would be not to assume anything and react as the situation unfolds before you.
Try Not to Blame Anyone Else
This is a very common thing that most people do during their confession. However, it can only make the situation even worse. It is a kind of defence mechanism that most people are habituated to, but ideally, you should refrain from using it. It is YOU who is responsible for the breakup and no one else, so why blame it on someone else or somebody else?
After all, you are doing it for the greater good, for your future. Dragging a relationship that doesn’t have any real depth is perhaps the worst thing you can ever do. Because, in future, both of you will suffer the consequence. So, if you have realized that you cannot be emotionally invested in this matter anymore, then you should be bold enough to say that.
Regardless of the consequence, at least, you can prove yourself to be an honest man who knows how to take decisions boldly. Blaming someone else means adding another person to the equation and making things more complex than it already is.
Be Ready for Some Harsh Comments and Heartache
This is an absolute truth. I mean, you are going for a breakup, right, and not on a job interview. So, clearly, you will not be able to get out of it without seeing tears or listening to some harsh remarks. Regardless of the depth of the relationship, you will always be at gunpoint the moment you say, “I think we should break up,” or that “this relationship isn’t working.”
If you have been quite physically intimate in this relationship, then things can be even more difficult. But you need to be prepared for all that and respond accordingly.
You need to constantly tell yourself that it is absolutely natural for the other person to feel bad. And when someone feels bad, it is natural for them to overreact. But if you start justifying yourself and counter your partner, then things can turn ugly, and there can be a permanent bitterness in the relationship. So, you need to be very cool and calm, and most importantly, reasonable while talking to your lover. If you can manage to do that, then you are surely in the right mind.
Be Prepared for the Future
There can be no doubt that there is a life waiting for you beyond this relationship. And if you wish to make the most out of that life, then you have to be bold enough to end this casual relationship and move on from this. Because if you still stay mentally or emotionally hooked, then you will never be able to start fresh.
So, you need to make yourself prepared for the future and have that attitude of come what may. Only then will you be able to talk freely and eventually move on from the relationship despite the heartache and the harsh comments said from the other end. Also, for this thing, try to meet and talk in a public place.
This is for your own safety because you don’t know what kind of reaction you might get. Believe it or not, the reaction you will receive from the other end will reveal a lot about their character.
What Remains?
So, these are the things you need to do if you wish to end your casual relationship with someone. If you have any such personal experience, then do feel free to share that with us in the comments section.
Best of luck!
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