Time is a funny thing!
When you are dating someone, it is very difficult to understand how soon you can call it a real relationship. Or is it quite easy for you? Can you just put your finger very easily as to this is the time to call it an actual relationship?
Well, I believe this is something that most men cannot tell for sure. Or the same goes for women.
So how to be sure or how many dates will it take for you to understand that this is not something very casual?
This is exactly what we are going to deal with in this post.
The Bridge between Dates & Relationship
Casual dating is something very easy. You know that no strings attached kind of thing where you know everything is fine unless you don’t actually hurt someone’s feelings too much.
During this time, you don’t always have to think about what the other person might think if you go out for a drink with someone else. But when you reach the bridge, that is when things take a different turn.
A relationship can only become official when both parties consent to that. But it always starts with you.
So, you need to question yourself a few things understand if you are really ready to take the next step or not.
Now, you must why you should consider these things at all! After all, some things are meant to happen, and they will happen no matter what. Well, there is nothing wrong with believing in fate, but that doesn’t mean you have the right to hurt someone or even yourself.
So, to avoid all that, let’s ask these few things to ourselves before taking the next step.
Do you feel happy seeing this person?
Happiness is the most important thing of all. If you don’t feel happy with someone or something, it may never work for you. But most people tend to forget this very basic need; instead, our superficial needs become more significant.
So, if someone can fulfill those needs, we feel like we have found the one. But if someone can make you happy without any grand gestures, then perhaps nothing can be better than that! Look for that spark and see if you have that or not.
Do I want to see someone else simultaneously?
Well, we don’t wish to be judgmental around here, but if you still wish to see someone else after a few dates with a certain someone, then one has to reflect. Take a moment and consider the odds; if you really have any genuine connection with this person, then you would have never wanted to see someone else.
There is no point in being in a polygamous relationship and burning the candles at both ends. Instead, you should leave the thoughts out of your head to commit to this person out of any compulsion.
Also Read: Why Do Men Pull Away & Lose Interest?
The trust factor should be the next factor.
Without trust, nothing works. We know it is very difficult to understand the trust factor in relatively less time. But that doesn’t mean you cannot judge the different aspects of your boding and see if you feel the least bit confident about them.
There is no way you can confide in that person so soon. But still, an implicit sense of trust based on instinct can give you the initial green signal.
Does your vibe match?
This is another very important aspect that people often overlook. What kind of vibes do you get from that person when you meet? This is very important if you wish to verify the trust factor between yourselves.
Human beings are full of surprises, and we never know who might turn out as what in the future. So having a similar kind of or at least a likable vibe can turn out to be a deciding factor.
Do you see yourself together in the coming years?
This can be a mental projection as well, but even that one counts. If someone has that potential to make a bond with you, they will surely be able to picture it mentally.
Of course, no one is perfect, and that’s why you will not be able to find an absolute match. However, you will be able to imagine the adjustments you can make and sustain the relationship in the years to come.
Now, you may have other people in your life, and maybe you even have some emotion for them as well. But when it comes to the juncture of deciding whether to go forward with this relationship or not, one question can save you.
How long have you known her?
Time is a funny thing, and often you may see an immense transformation in people you have been knowing for a long time. However, if you still retain the same enthusiasm of seeing someone over the course of time, then it will be much more worthwhile to move forward with that person instead of investing your feelings for someone else.
Maybe you have lukewarm feelings for someone, but if stability is something you are aiming at, this question can help you before jumping to a conclusion.
The Signs!
Now is the time when we will delve deep into the story and try to identify the signs that convince us to move forward from casual dating to commitment.
Now, everyone would tell you that we feel butterflies in our stomachs, but that will not stay long, and eventually, you would need more than just that to convince yourself. But what are those signs?
Now, one thing you must understand is that I am going to try and cover the signs applicable to most of the people. But every individual is different, and something else might work for you.
But let’s look at the general aspects, or shall we say the golden rules:
Also Read: How to tell love from a crush
The Security
With online dating becoming more and more accepted these days, it is relatively easy to find a date quickly. Well, thanks to the application you meet a handsome man, and after the first three dates, he seems to be the love of your life. However, how stable will he be when it comes to your future?
The idea is to judge the person’s mental stability and, based on that, move on with the plans you have for your future. So, you can simply start talking with the person about these plans and see the reaction you get out of him or her. If someone is allergic to commitments, you can get the vibe right away. It often happens that one party is ready to commit, but the other party is still looking for something very casual. If that is the case for you, then the honest thing to do is confess what you actually feel about the relationship.
Stands the Test of Time
It is really very difficult to put a number on the board as to how many dates you need to reach a conclusion. But you need to see what stands the test of time. Maybe you have been dating every weekend for two months now, but still, some people can be unsure.
Here, you need to check if the light is still burning between us, or are you easily disposable? Instead, use the time you have spent to explore themes and corners of each other’s life. Things can range from family matters to personal space or even some secrets that can reveal a lot about that person. If you see that person is opening up himself before you over time and there is still something strong you feel no matter how many dates you go to, then I believe you can take the step forward.
Both of You and Your “The One” are on the Same Page
This is very important as any other day; this can be the biggest deal-breaker. You can only take your relationship public when both of you are ready to take responsibility for what follows. If you feel like posting a photo of you two on social media and your partner comments something loving, then you may say that some commitment is there from both ends.
But if you receive a weird remark or an icy reply, or worse, a violent reaction to your personal chatbox, it is a clear sign to rethink the course of the relationship.
Identifying Major Deal Breakers
Deal breakers can be anything, and you need to be ready for all of them. Any long-term relationship will face these deal-breakers along the way, and that’s how the bond gets strengthened. But in order to make it work in the long run, one has to make sure that these deal breakers are dealt with in the first go.
Hence, before you commit to the person, you must clear all the doubts in hand. Maybe someone is not ready for kids right away or ever. Maybe your partner is dealing with some kind of addiction and is in the process of recovering from it. Whatever may be the scenario, you cannot force someone into a relationship, and talking about these aspects before committing will be very helpful for you in the long run.
At least, it will never hurt anyone unnecessarily!
Talking about the Relationship
Is your partner ready to have the big relationship talk? Well, this can be a key moment of your relationship, and it can also indicate a lot of things beforehand. Now, sometimes you might feel a bit vulnerable before talking about this with your partner, but your doubts will be cleared if he or she also responds to this discussion sportingly.
Ideal couples will always feel like talking about the future of the relationship, not just when they are under scrutiny. The relationship is a big part of their lives, and if you get to see these signs in you as well as your partner, then it is a very good time to make it official. According to experts, if someone is ready to take the step forward, he or she would often try and make you meet some of his or her close friends or relatives. It is not just about seeking validation from others but also about making you feel welcome in his inner circle.
Spending Time with Him or Her is Always a Pleasure
Understanding when your relationship has matured or not depends a lot on your realization. If you are headed towards the right way, you would automatically feel the intensity with each other. When the comfort level increases, you won’t have to plan so much beforehand and instead just count on the togetherness you share.
Long and elaborate dates will be replaced by something cozy and simple. You can just sit together closely and watch a favorite movie of yours and order some food you two like. Spending time with each other will be all that matters to you, and that is when you can think you do have something special between you two.
Good Plans for the Future
It’s not about throwing stones in the dark or making unrealistic plans. Romanticism is very important, but that doesn’t mean you would lose the grasp of reality and make plans that are not concrete. Instead, if you have really found the partner for life, then together you can make good and realistic plans for the future.
Maybe one of you is planning to move abroad with some job offer, and you would like to go along. Then you two can chalk out the future path for you both together. Most importantly, the ideal partner will never leave you just because a challenging situation has occurred.
Meeting Family and Friends
As mentioned earlier, one of the great signs of your relationship on the verge of becoming official is meeting your partner’s inner circle. If you often hang out with his close friends and you have met his family, cousins, and brothers more than once, then you can take that as a good sign.
Nowadays, you might even see that you are being added to a WhatsApp group consisting of some of his relatives like his brother and sisters because you are about the same age. All these dots can be connected to see the bigger picture. After all, you will have to spend some quality time with these people in the future, so spending time with them now can be really helpful.
The Compatibility is Already There
Having good chemistry with your partner is always fun, but compatibility is the most important thing for a relationship. This is what drives the relationship forward even through bad storms. Of course, we know how infatuation works, and during the initial stage, it is pretty helpful too. I mean, everyone feels it on the first go, and they feel like hugging or kissing each other every time they meet their partner.
But this initial chemistry cannot establish commitment. It may create a sense of dependency, but compatibility comes over time. So, how many dates will it take to attain this compatibility? Put this out of your time for the time being and see if your imperfections are respected or not. Only then can compatibility be established.
Accept the Flaws
No one is perfect, and that should be alright when it comes to your relationship as well. The ideal will accept you along with your flaws. After all, that is what makes you who you are!
Maybe during the first date, everything was rosy, and you felt the La vie en rose effect. However, slowly, as you go on to many other dates, you discover the off-putting aspects of your partner. But true love is all about accepting the way you are. If your relationship has mellowed enough, your partner will not feel bothered if you haven’t done make-up today. Or during video calls, he would never complain about your pajamas or your messy hair. If both of you have become comfortable with each other’s flaws, then you have really achieved a significant milestone in your relationship.
Having Something Exclusive between You Two
A relationship will offer you thousands of memories and even some moments that are absolutely exclusive for you two only. The key here is to understand the value of these sentiments and memories.
Only then would you be able to make more such memories. But the best part is that these small things will always make you feel happy and special to have each other. Such moments can last a lifetime and will surely make your relationship much more exclusive and different from the rest.
We live more moments of love, and the more moments you have between you two, the stronger the indication is to make this relationship official.
Establishing Each Other as a Couple
Do you feel like a couple when you walk with each other side by side? Well, it doesn’t come to that right away. Instead, one has to take steps towards that. Commitment is a single word. However, many small steps lead to that.
Some steps can look like a bit corny, but if they are effective, then you are good to go. It can be as little as putting a picture of you two on the phone wallpaper. You can even find your partner deleting the dating apps from their phone. It can be a slow process, but if you see even some of these signs with your partner, then you can decide on the future.
Not Leaving in the Face of Adversaries
A relationship is just like our lives, and they will have their fair share of ups and downs. Now, many people would simply take the back door and leave you to your misery, while some may stay back and help you get back on your feet.
This can only be proven through time, and if you see that your partner would prefer to quit seeing you because of some deal breakers, then definitely you cannot plan your future with him or her.
If you see that your partner is still there to support you emotionally despite the differences and perils at hand, then you can surely count on him in the days to come.
Emotional Dependence
Not every woman is looking for a man because they are not financially independent. But most of them are just looking for someone they can turn to for some emotional support.
But suppose your partner is never available emotionally for you or rather hate it when you complain about the adversaries of your life; in that case, it is clear that the future holds something even worse.
You may have great chemistry between you two and many other similarities, but all of that can go out of the window if an emotional dependency cannot be established.
Priority
Your partner may have some other friends apart from you. But if she or he really has something special going on with you, then you would be right at the top of their priority list.
They will never fail to make time for you and even come to your aid in case of some emergency. If you see these signs in him or her, then you can be sure that your relationship is standing on the verge of taking the next step.
Taking a causal relationship official only takes a certain set of priorities. Ask your partner a few questions openly and see how he or she reacts.
Of course, as you might know, not every time we are able to express our feelings through words, so you must look out for expressions as well.
What Remains?
Well, to be very frank, there is no hard and fast rule to go for a specific number of dates before making the relationship public. However, these above points can surely help you understand and consider the situation.
If you have ever been in a situation like this, feel free to share your experience with us in the comments section.
Best of luck!
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