When you are in a relationship with your partner there is always a dispute at one point or another but these disputes shouldn’t be the reason for the lesser amount of love between you and your partner. When you have any dispute with your partner it is hard to confront it and talk about that issue directly.
Maybe some of you are afraid that what you are assuming is wrong, some of you are confused about what to say and some of you are confused about what exact words to say.
So, we are here with some tips that will help you in knowing how to talk about relationship problems with your partner. Read on to know more:
Choose The Right Time to Talk About Relationship Problems
Time Factor
Timing plays an important role in everything you do, especially when you are planning to talk to someone about something important. If the person is having a bad day then your talk can turn into a fight and if that person is having a good day then your talk can turn out to be a successful one. The same goes with relationship problems.
When you are talking about relationship problems with your partner you have selected perfect timing. It’s true that a good partner is supposed to listen to you when you talk even if he/she is having a rough day but sometimes timings can be really devilish.
How to Choose?
Relationship talk requires more time and if you choose to talk about it just before your partner is going to work or when your partner is deep in thoughts about work then you will have to leave your talk in the middle because of work issues and deadlines.
So, whenever you are planning to talk about relationship issues with your partner choose the timings that are suitable for both of you. Maybe, at night when you are having dinner or while you are on a long phone call with your partner during your leisure time. Remember, that timings are important.
Also Read: Why Do Men Pull Away & Lose Interest?
Don’t Let Your Ego Win
Ego Play a Negative Role
The ego can play devil’s advocate in many situations. When it comes to relationship talk, ego is always present because both of you believe in self-respect and you want your partner to maintain your self-respect but that self-respect can sometimes turn out to be ego.
When you are talking about relationship problems with your partner don’t keep on arguing just because you feel like you have to be right and you should be right. You have to analyze the situation wholly. If you think you have some loopholes in your talk then try to fill it out. Don’t go on the wrong path, just make your words right.
How to Overcome Ego to Solve Relationship Problems?
The important step in not letting your ego get in the way of your relationship problems is to let your mind know that you are going to talk about this with your partner and you will try not to create any unwanted feelings in your partner.
Don’t look for who is right but look for what is right when it comes to relationship talk. Keep your ego outside the door when you are talking to your partner and also ask your partner to not let ego come in a way of your relationship talk.
Listen, Don’t Shut ’em Up
Relationship Problem due to Listening Skills
When you are talking to your partner then you have to see that you get to listen to them too. Everyone deserves a chance to speak whether it is normal to talk or relationship problems talk. Your partner might be confused about you so while you are talking to your partner you should listen to them.
You can come up with various methods of letting each other speak equally, like five minutes talk or two minutes talk in which you get to speak for a few minutes and your partner must listen and during the next few minutes you must listen to your partner while he/she speaks.
That way when you maintain the balance of talking then you both can share real feelings and thoughts about each other.
How to Improve?
It is necessary to listen to each other and find out a solution to each other’s talk without letting your side of the argument go in vain. What’s more, is that you develop a sense of understanding when you give each other a chance to speak even when you are talking about something serious or in between arguments.
Don’t shut down each other’s talk or opinion while you are having a relationship talk with your partner.
Also Read: How to tell love from a crush
Focus On Issues In Present
Never Leave Your Focus on Present
This point in the relationship talk is really important. When you are talking in the present you don’t need to focus on future aspects of the arguments. The relationship issues with your partner should be discussed as part of a good future.
If you think that talking about present issues can create your future life confusing and chaotic then you should altogether avoid that thought. If you think like that then you will end up arguing while talking about relationship issues in the present with your partner. You need to focus on the present and the outcome of the relationship talk.
What to Do?
While you are talking avoid using “IF”(If you do something in the future that I don’t like? If you forget about something in the future etc.). These sentences and words will only lengthen the talk. You will never reach the conclusion of it if you keep using “IF”.
Talking in the present will also help you in realizing and analyzing past mistakes so you can avoid these mistakes in the future. The key is to talk about what is bothering you in your present time and avoid thinking about what might bother you about your partner or about your relationship in your future.
Be Calm And Positive
Practice to be Calm & Positive
As we all know being calm and positive will leave a big impact on the life of people around you. In case, if a situation that feels like something is impossible or a situation in which something seems happy yet something is off, you have to remain calm.
Make sure, worrying about something will not solve the issue but it will only increase the amount of pressure and anxiety in your mind. The same goes for relationship problems. If you think about it too much you will end up in a situation that you can’t handle.
That is to say when you are talking about relationship issues with your partner you should be calm and positive, that no matter how things get hectic you will have to remain calm because you are the one who decided to talk about relationship problems with your partner.
To do
Although your talk isn’t going somewhere where you might want, you can support your partner by saying something good or positive. Just remember that when you approach your partner you should remain calm and approach with a positive attitude and have a good talk without having some arguments. This shows how calmness and positivity have the ability to make serious talk lively.
Don’t Accuse Each Other
If you Accuse other, it simple bloods in air
We all are aware of the fact that accusing each other is always easier than accepting the situation as it is. Be it life issues, a small fight with your friend or colleague, or something that involves accusations it is always easier to accuse someone else but when it comes to the relationship talk you can always put your accusations aside and stick to the point in the present.
You can think about various methods of how to not accuse each other about something that creates disputes. You can ignore minor mistakes if it calms down the accusations on each other.
Points to Remember
The point is to remain calm even if you feel like the other person should be the one who should be accused because in situations like relationship talks one always forgets about how the argument started and ends up having issues that might not even arise if you think about it carefully.
The relationship problems are hard to discuss with your partner but it’s not impossible to solve them without any fussing and accusations. You can tell your partner everything calmly without an accusing tone and actions.
What’s more, is that you can always leave the topic for further discussion and go out for a walk if you feel like you are on the brink of accusing each other.
Take Some Space If Needed
Space
When you are talking about something and you feel like the talk feels so overwhelming to you that you can’t focus on what is going on then you can just take some space away from everything and spend some time with yourself.
Relationship problems are something that will always nag when you least expect it and talking with your partner about it is something that is hectic, nervous, and overwhelming at the same time because you don’t want your partner to get hurt because of relationship problems but you know that it is important to talk about it.
It doesn’t matter at which point you feel overwhelmed or your partner is feeling overwhelmed by the talk of relationship problems. When any one of you feels like you have had enough, you can kindly walk out of the room and think about it.
It works
Give some space to each other. Even if it’s a few minutes or a few hours if it helps then you should give each other some space.
Moreover, even if there is nothing to be worried about, you should tell your partner not to give an answer and talk about it if she/he doesn’t want to. You both can always come back to that topic later.
Don’t Rush
While you talk about relationship problems with your partner you can leave all other work aside for a few minutes or an hour and talk to your partner without any rush.
Rushing will only make everything chaotic and confusing so you need to avoid other tasks at hand while you are planning to have a relationship talk with your partner.
Agree At Least At One Point
Need Agreement Emotionally
While you are talking about relationship problems with your partner it’s hard to agree on something or anything. You might usually agree on everything while you are talking but when you talk about relationship problems you might think that you shouldn’t let yourself down.
So you can’t agree with something that your partner says or your partner might not agree with something that you are saying. The important part is that even when you are talking about relationship problems you should be aware of the fact that you and your partner love each other.
If one of you is right about something then the other one should at least try to agree with what is being said.
Change is Expected & Necessary
It might be hard to agree with your partner while having a relationship talk but you can at least try to resonate about being neutral on whatever you decide to agree on so that the other person might not feel hurtful or unwanted. Moreover, agreeing on at least one point will help in reducing stress and anxiety of relationship problems because at that point you might start thinking that it’s okay, at least you both can agree on something even if it’s small it will make big difference.
Watch Out Your Words
Never Hurts other with Words
Words have the ability to hurt others in a way that can never be healed. When you say something to someone that person will always remember about it, if not fully then bits and pieces of it. The same goes in relationship problems.
When you talk about relationship problems with your partner it will definitely create some unwanted disputes but your job is to avoid those disputes and don’t let it gain control over your mind.
If your disputes will devour your mind then you will end up saying something that might leave forever scar.
Never use your Swords
As we all know that words act like swords, if you sharpen them then it will leave a deeper scar on the person who is at the other end. In the same way when you sharpen your words into saying something that shouldn’t be said it will be in the memory of the person you are saying it to.
- Your partner is someone who loves you so whatever disputes happen you can’t use it as a reason for verbal abuse.
- Whenever you are feeling like you might cross the line in terms of words then you should count to 10 and calm yourself down.
- Once you are calmed then you should think about what you were going to say and how it’s better that you didn’t say those words.
Don’t Assume Anything
Assumption is a big Culprit
Did you know that assuming something will only lead to further overthinking and unwanted scenarios in your mind? Your mind will reciprocate this into feelings and at the end, you will feel like your assumption has turned out to be true.
Which is not true!
When you talk about relationship issues with your partner you don’t need to assume how your partner will react or what will be the outcome of this talk.
You need to think about how you can share your honest feelings. Don’t think about what your partner will say after this, think about how relieved you will feel once you share everything that is eating you up with your partner.
Overcome it
Moreover, you need to ask about everything in a clear way that way even if your partner is assuming something about you then he/she can be clear about their feelings too. The core point of this point is to assume the fake scenarios in your mind will always lead you to wonder and confusion because sometimes overthinking can play a killer part in assuming the worst of every situation you encounter. The important part is don’t think too much, just go with the flow when it comes to relationship problems.
Be Crystal Clear
Transparency
Explaining everything in detail to your partner while you are having relationship problems is important but you have to be clear about what you are explaining. The point is when you are eating up the words you are creating hateful feelings in your partner because when you are stuttering while talking your partner will feel like you are hiding something.
So, don’t eat up the words. What’s more is that when you are talking about relationship problems with your partner, you have to be clear about everything, about what you want and what you don’t, what you feel and what you think is something that needs improvement.
That way you will create a room for discussion and your partner can share his/ her feelings with you as well. As we all know, discussing everything will not create any issues or confusion among two people.
Do it
So, you should leave room for discussion and you can only do it by being clear about your real feelings. You can also ask your partner to share what he/she wants because relationship problems should be equally balanced on both sides. That way you can come to a better conclusion and mutual understanding.
Explain In Details
Proper explanation & Relationship Problems
Sometimes fewer words can create confusion and hurtful feelings. When you are talking about relationship problems with your partner you have to be clear in everything you say.
If you twist your words, it can turn out to be chaotic to your partner because confusing words always create unwanted feelings in someone.
Moreover, explaining everything in detail will help you in making your points clear. The plus point of this is that when you tell what you are feeling in detail you will be able to connect with your partner more and more.
If you leave the important details out then not only now but also in future when those details come out of the closet, it will create hurtful feelings and confusion in your partner.
Practice with Yourself
You have to be precise in what you say. Everything seems easier when you read about how to talk about relationship problems with your partner but when you really try to implement these readings in reality you will find it way more difficult.
So, you have to imagine you are already talking to yourself, while you are reading these steps. When you are talking, pay attention to every single detail. Don’t miss your words but keep in mind to tell everything clearly to your partner.
End On Good Note
Talking with your partner about relationship issues is not easy, but once you are courageous enough to get out the words and talk about what you feel and think then everything seems okay. Even if the talk doesn’t go as it should you can feel the mountain of eeriness getting smaller. After you have talked about what you need to do then you both can end your talks on good terms even if you don’t feel like it because it will always leave room for further discussion.
Maybe you might not like some issues that your partner talked about but try to see problems from their point of view. This way you will know how much they might have thought before talking to you about relationship issues.
At the end of the talk just accept the situation as it is and respect each other’s opinion. Moreover, you can go somewhere outside after that complicated talk so you both can forget about that for a while. The important thing is to end the talk of relationship problems on good terms because you have to make an effort to stabilize your relationship and this talk is just one of the branches in that effort.
These are some tips that will help you in talking to your partner about relationship issues/problems and clear out some air. Talking is not really an easy thing as everyone talks and that’s true. But with the right methods, you can talk to your partner freely.
What’s more, is that when you clear out the air about issues then you will definitely see the growth in your relationship with your partner. So, use the right methods and don’t avoid your feelings or hide your feelings.
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