A dating couple can usually be easily differentiated from a married couple at a restaurant. Couples in a dating relationship usually communicate with one another, while married couples seldom do. When women feel unloved by their husbands, they are often defensive to avoid feeling unloved themselves. When men interpret what they hear as criticism and control, they tend to be defensive against feeling disrespected. The men and women are merely doing what is natural to their genders, who would not take offense at the actions.
Although silence can sometimes be a red flag when it comes to relationships, it isn’t always bad. It is unnecessary to talk constantly just because you are with your partner. You can’t force a partner to talk when they’re busy or tired or don’t feel like it. Silence is a natural part of a healthy, long-term relationship. The ability to enjoy your special one’s company without saying a word is usually a good sign.
Define Communication
As a way to connect with others, communication can be defined as a process. We rarely learn it deliberately to do it which is a complex process. A couple’s communication has a big impact on their lives. Communication plays a key role in all kinds of relationships, not just couple relationships.
You can think of communication as a dance between two people. You dance together in a place the music sets the tone, you both feel the rhythm, you both take turns doing your thing, you both follow or take the lead. It gives you both pleasure and purpose. A reasonable level of proficiency should make it a satisfying experience.
You can also remember to take your time, build the right environment, share your experiences, balance the inputs, and do different things together. Viewing your communication from that perspective could be helpful.
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Why it Happen?
Women often bring up ideas or thoughts in everyday conversation, and men instead of hearing their hearts focus on a grammatical error, a logical error, or some financial, theoretical, mechanical, or scheduling dilemma inherent in what they say. Having a husband who is a problem solver tends to point out things that need to be fixed is one of the reasons long-time married couples cease talking to each other.
Reasons for Couples Have Less Conversation
Silent Treatment
Silence’s bad reputation comes from the silent treatment, and for good reasons. There are times when the silent treatment is still applied, even with the best intentions. Your temper is still churning after the fight, which is why you aren’t talking. The mistake you make is thinking that ignoring the other person and avoiding the situation will ultimately resolve the situation. You may even think you can get away with it by keeping quiet. If you need to take a break after a fight, you are fine with that, but how you express that need is what makes a healthy silence from an unhealthy one.
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Lost in Translation
A relationship requires pause and consideration of each other’s needs. The tendency to be self-centered needs to be adjusted. More often than not, men must listen to their wives, allowing them to speak freely. They should sit beside her and listen to her like friends. They should allow her to express herself, not criticize her.
As a wife, you can demonstrate that you respect your husband by at least, starting today, providing him with what a husband longs for from his spouse: confidence, admiration, and encouragement. Critics and managers don’t matter to men or women; cheerleaders and romantic lovers are equally important but to varying degrees.
Too Tired or Busy
The stress of daily life takes its toll, and suddenly you’re lying in bed too exhausted to talk. You need to take a break, gain control over your schedule, and reassess your priorities. For effective communication with your partner, you should take time to recharge.
Wrong Timing of Conversation
It is impossible to have a meaningful conversation in the midst of chaos. Typically, this occurs when kids fight or when someone is crying around you while the TV is on high volume. Find a time when both of you can share your thoughts in silence. You might decide to share your thoughts over dinner or after the kids go to bed.
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Lack of Support
In response, she shuts down because she feels that her husband has not supported her and had failed emotionally. The opposite scenario is also commonly experienced by men. His efforts to connect with her feel like criticism and control. Her input is interpreted by the male mind as a challenge to his intelligence, doubt in his competence, and interference with his ideas. A man who feels this way interprets the advice to give his wife influence in the wrong way and interprets it as a request to abdicate his authority.
No Filter
While it is important to talk about things, we should also be aware of the whys and how of what we are saying. We should not just think about the intent but also its impact. When he gets dressed, telling him that his jeans are getting too tight is probably not the best way to communicate with him. To make your words count, think about how they can impact your audience before you speak. If you mention that all the time, it may make him think you have a problem with him, even though your intention is to keep him healthy.
Lost in Words
Being unable to talk to each other occasionally is different from never talking at all. Similarly, if you get together after class or work, go out for dinner, and find yourself without anything to say, that may be an indication you’ve lost your spark. Even though it might seem scary, you shouldn’t freak out. You don’t necessarily have to give up on your romance because of silence. You’ll need to put more effort into your relationship if you want it to succeed.
Proving Your Point
It takes too much effort on your part to prove that you are right. They can certainly disagree about something. Couples engage in some sort of activity or other. The female psyche is prone to always trying to prove her point. And oftentimes, it is possible for her to have the best opinion. Despite all your reasons and arms, arguing with your partners doesn’t impress them. As well as women, husbands shut all channels of consideration after the women burst into tears. Take a break lady; don’t cry in the middle of a conversation.
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Not Interesting on Response Their Text
There are people who respond to texts more quickly than others. A certain amount of text communication with your partner is expected, even if you’re not responsible for being reachable at all times. While you’re at work, studying, working out, or otherwise occupied, it is perfectly normal not to be able to text constantly. However, if you do not reply to a text from your partner because you find it difficult to do so, you could be more significant than a packed schedule since it indicates that you are not trying.
Only Thinking About Yourself
In a relationship, everything revolves around you, so it can be difficult not to think about everything in your relationship. The likelihood of hurting each other in a relationship is a given. Almost always, it is not our intent, but in every relationship, there will be a disappointment, unintentional hurtful remarks, or crushed by the act of selfishness of another.
Stonewalling Him
There’s no progress toward finding common ground between you and you are always arguing. You might want to stop fighting and put an end to the conflict, or simply agree to keep the peace. Silence of this type is sometimes known as stonewalling, and if both of you experience it in your relationship, it may indicate a need for emotional growth on both sides.
Consider telling your partner that you’ve reached your limit of emotional capacity for the moment instead of retreating into silence. You can let your partner know that you need some time to think about what they said if you’re in a tense disagreement and feel the urge to stonewall.
Tell your partner you need some time to digest what you’ve heard. They will understand if you ask for it and allow it if they are reasonable. Otherwise, you may have to seek outside support. Both of you should be aware of these rules. Stonewalling in a relationship comes from both parties and implies that something is amiss that needs to be addressed.
Living Separate Lives
Working, exercising, talking to friends, and playing golf are all part of your daily schedule. In addition to working, your partner enjoys wine tasting, speaking with their friends, and playing video games. You can’t share time, experiences, or interests in any of these areas with your partner. You can also teach each other new skills or do something together, like cooking, hiking, or solving puzzles. Your relationship will be illuminated by it, and you will create memories and cultivate curiosity.
Perspective
Sharing ideas is a way for women to connect while sharing ideas is a way for men to compete. It is about showing care to women when they share ideas and ask questions. Men often find it challenging to ask pointed questions about what they are doing. These questions are often interpreted as directly challenging their competence and intelligence. Women, on the other hand, do not see their comments as critical, controlling, or demanding.
Marriage couples often stop talking to each other because their partner interprets what they say differently. She is afraid any words she says will be met with ridiculous objections or demeaning remarks. Consequently, he foresees a hostile takeover when he says what he does. Communication ends before it has begun because neither party has the energy for it.
Talk About Unnecessary Things
No matter how many jewelry or makeup items you purchase or how many end-of-season sales are going on, your partner is not interested in knowing the price. Stop giving him these unnecessary details. You should also speak with your partner about other fun things he likes besides family issues.
Same Argument Over & Over Again
That never ending argument where neither you nor your partner seems to be able to agree or feel heard. Feelings are invalidated and you feel it all the time. As a result, tension builds as you discuss anything else. By holding your tongue, you avoid the constant repetition of the same things. You may be able to remove the communication roadblock by paying attention to addressing the real issue rather than just treating the symptoms.
How to Improve Communication in a Relationship?
Be Responsive
The problem of not receiving proper responses from their partners is often complained about by couples. You are a good listener if you don’t talk while they speak, but communication is more than that. When you’re talking with your significant other, look into their eyes. You’ll be communicating with more respect.
It doesn’t take much patience for you to listen to your partner. Be sure your partner knows you value his opinion by listening to him. You must therefore pay attention to your partner. In most cases, he would be more likely to participate in further conversations if you listen to him and let him speak first. Ask him to join and start the conversation if he is initially reluctant. Accept what he offers, but do not push him.
Have Discussion in Various Things
You can go beyond the usual small talk about your day and its occurrences. Talk about other topics besides your normal lives. Men tend to talk about politics, so that’s a good option. If you and your partner are in a friendly huddle about his favorite sports, hobbies, childhood memories, and movies, you can talk about them.
Couples who have intelligent conversations acquire intellectual intimacy. You always have an opinion on anything. Never hesitate to discuss those opinions together to improve communication.
Body Language
Ensure your body language is positive and accepting. There are many types of responses of a welcoming communication, such as nodding, smiling, laughing, etc. Using non-verbal communication allows a couple to share everything.
Honesty
There are two major reasons for communication gaps in relationships: silent treatments and lies. In order to eliminate a gap, it is essential that you be honest with yourself, and having an honest relationship with your partner is the next step. Lying about how you’re feeling might temporarily solve the problem, but it’s going to come back even worse down the road.
Don’t Keep Anything on Your Mind
If you don’t want to upset someone or are worried about looking foolish, you may avoid difficult conversations. If you don’t talk about things, it could lead to tension building until you finally snap. Instead of having big rows that may cause damage to your relationship, it’s better to get little things out in the open. Even so, if something in your life seems to bother you repeatedly, it’s better to talk about it than to keep it bottled up.
Don’t Blame Each Other
A culture of blame-shifting breaks a healthy communication routine faster than anything else. Blame games are frequent in some relationships, to the point that they take the form of domestic violence or mental harassment.
- Maintain mature conversations as much as possible.
- When you are upset by the actions of your partner, let them know. In the same way, you must be responsible for your actions.
- If you have done something wrong, apologize and correct it.
- If you have wronged your partner, don’t accuse her. It will improve your communication if you stop blaming one another. It is not too late to resolve conflicts and improve communication between you and your partner.
Flirting
Don’t let the spark of intimacy die in your relationship, whether you’ve been together for a few weeks or a couple of years. Boring, mundane relationships ruin relationships. Don’t be afraid to flirt with each other outside of the bedroom. As if they do not know one another, several couples flirt with one another outside. If you want to flirt with your lover, you should always send chills down their spines or butterflies in their stomachs as long as possible.
Physical Intimacy
Communication in a relationship goes beyond just verbal exchanges. A significant aspect of communication is nonverbal communication, such as physical touch or intimacy. By incorporating more physical touch into your relationships, such as hugs, foot massages, back scratches, and other intimate activities, you will become closer and even improve your verbal communication.
Couples with greater intimacy tend to be more sensitive to each other’s emotions. Relationship communication requires a certain level of trust created by physical contact. You should also prioritize other forms of physical touch, aside from s*x, in your relationship.
Don’t assume anything
In high-quality communication, assumptions can impede progress, and there is no way to predict the future. Your boyfriend might be quiet if he’s having a bad day on the job. Your girlfriend may have been stuck in traffic, so she was late. You will only hurt your partner more by assuming the worst.
Empathy comes from having an understanding of others’ situations. You are a better listener when you have empathy in dialogue, making relationship communication more effective. Your partner must be responsible for their faults on their own, so eliminate all possibilities of must best in your mind.
Complement Your Partner & vice versa
Complimenting your partner is important, even if words of affirmation aren’t their love language. You can improve your relationship’s communication by saying one nice thing about your partner every day, once in the morning, once at night. When you compliment your partner, it’s crucial that they feel seen by you. Take this opportunity to put your creative cap on and come up with all the things you love about your partner.
Nevertheless, you do not have to worry about coming up with a new idea every day. Even if people have already complimented your hair, your outfit, or your coffee before, it still feels great when they say so.
Sense of Humor
A sense of humor sets couples free from frustration and constant seriousness. Sense of humor and playful jokes undoubtedly enhance communication in relationships. Seriousness and playfulness are essential to a successful relationship. Make your relationship fun by playing games together. A sense of humor relieves daily stress.
Have fun and enjoy your time together. Tell jokes to each other. A couple that laughs together tends to stay together, as laughter is the best medicine.
Respect Each Other Privacy
Respect their privacy and trust them with all your heart. You will never have to worry about doubts or deceit in your relationship and your communication will flourish. You will also give your partner enough space. Certain things may not be necessary for you to discuss with your partner. You could be facing similar issues as your partner. If your partner is not around, do not sneak on them or check their messages.
Keep Your Phone Silent
When you and your partner cannot stay in touch without your cell phones, you are demonstrating to others that your relationship is exciting. Being with each other during the date is more important than wearing a cute outfit and posting a picture of your food. You show how much you value your partner by not caring about external devices. When you are together, always turn your phone to silent. As a result, you will be able to communicate better, so that you can build trust and love.
Practice
Last but not least, remember that communication is a skill that you can develop with practice. Communication as a couple can be improved by making a conscious effort to build positive habits in the way you talk. Your performance will vary from day to day, and some days you’ll not manage it at all. But if you persist, you’ll find that you’ll get better at saying what’s on your mind and listening to what’s on your partner’s.
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