Female Led Relationship: What Does It Mean and How Does It Work?

Want to Be in a Female Led Relationship? Here’s Everything You Need to Know. Female-led relationship or FLR is very much like what the name suggests. It is a kind of relationship where the woman will be in the dominant position and enjoy complete authority over her partner. In contrast, the male partner will be the submissive counterpart. 

Since the man will be in a passive role, the woman will make most of the decisions regarding the relationship, practice more authority over her male partner, and steers the relationship forward. In this kind of relationship, the woman will call the shots, and this is the biggest difference from the conventional romance where either the man will be in control or both are treated equally. Believe it or not, no matter how bizarre it may sound but it has a lot of benefits; however, for that, you need to have some discipline as well. 

But how can you do all that? This is what this post is all about. Here, I will tell you everything you need to know about this kind of relationship. 

Let’s get started. 

Types of Female Led Relationships

First, let’s look at the different types of this relationship. Based on the factor of control, the FLR can be categorized into four different levels.

Female led relationship what does mean how work

Low-level female control

As the name suggests, in this type of FLR, the woman has low authority, and most of the decisions will be taken mutually by the man and the woman. Here, the man allows her female partner to take the lead in specific scenarios but sometimes, she may have to ask permission from the man to make a decision.

Moderate-level female control

In this kind of FLR, the female can become the leader for a while and can also, to some extent, enjoy the sense of ruling the man. This can boost her confidence and morale and also make the relationship appear more positive. At the same time, the man can also enjoy the dominant attitude of the woman. In this type, the woman can take the day-to-day decisions, but she can also set some boundaries about how far she is willing to go.

Defined control

For this type of female-led relationship, it is the woman who will take most of the decisions and take the role of the man as well. All the areas where she appears to be dominant are defined to ensure there is a demarcation.

Extreme control

In this type, as you can understand from the name, she is in extreme control, and the man is there to serve her. This kind of relationship is for that kind of woman who likes to have the ultimate power in the relationship. 

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Most Important Rules of a Female-Led Relationship

Like, I have said before, this kind of relationship cannot work if you don’t have some discipline among yourselves. So, there are many rules that help define a female-led relationship. Here, I am listing the most important ones. 

  • It’s the woman who would make most of the household decisions. The man can share his views before a decision is made, and the woman should value it at all costs. 
  • The woman must help to motivate the man to give up all the bad habits he might have, like excessive smoking or extreme dependence on alcohol, by being authoritative.
  • It is true that man and woman usually distribute household tasks, but the man will agree to do chores like cooking, cleaning, etc.
  • Here, the woman will make most of the financial decisions, and the man will trust his wife to take care of things.
  • All the decisions regarding most of the social events and social gatherings will be taken by the man.

Now, you must be wondering why does the woman would want to take on so much of additional responsibilities? And also, why would the man agree to be subservient to their women? This is because there are some great benefits in an FLR as well. 

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Why Women Seek a Female-Led Relationship?

Some women want a female-led relationship as they get to control things, from money to kitchen management.

Women also get the chance to mold a man into whoever she wants “him” to be. Imagine changing your ideal man and ensuring that he meets your needs and expectations.

There is a very low power struggle in such relationships, so there is more peace of mind and minimal stress or tension.

A man who willingly agrees to a female-led relationship won’t mind being dominated. He might even love his woman better, as she is the one taking care of everything he would otherwise worry about.

Why Men Seek a Female-Led Relationship?

Now, it does seem strange to you, isn’t it, that a man who is used to being in a controlling relationship or who is usually expected to do so for years would give up control to a woman. Well, there are a few reasons behind it as well and here is why men would do it willingly and happily.

  • First of all, when a woman is in control of a relationship, the man will not have to make any tough decisions or even think worry about the consequences or the responsibility.
  • This way, the man can enjoy a much more quiet and peaceful ambiance at home. This is because he has already given up the power struggle between him and his woman.
  • There are some men for whom most of the life decision has been taken by another female authority figure. Like it can be his mother or some other elderly female figure. For such men, they would anyway prefer to let a woman take charge for the rest of their lives as well, and by that, they can focus on other things, such as their careers.

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How Do You Build a Female-Led-Relationship?

So, I believe now you already know what FLR is. But how can you get it to work for you? How can you make the relationships get going?

Well, the moment you manage to find a partner who is willing to be in a female-led relationship and who would accept the same kind of values and outlook that you do, you will be able to establish the relationship.

But for that, there are a few guidelines, and if you manage to establish these guidelines from the beginning, then you will be able to make this kind of relationship a success, and you will have a clear outline of how things will be. This way, you will understand what to expect out of this and what not to. 

Like, if you wish to take things further and get married, then it is important that you two talk things through quite early. I mean, you need to consider all the future aspects like who will be handling the money? Household decisions? Or even plan social events?

Needless to say, all these are very important topics to discuss with your partner quite early in the relationship; if both of you are on the same page, then you will have a lovely time in the future.

But always keep in mind that this is not the kind of “I want to control everything” conversation. Here, getting all the control should not be the goal. But the ideal thing should be more like, “I’m very good at managing money, so I think I should be the one in charge of our finances once we get married.”

Now, if you are lucky enough like some couples are, then one of you will naturally ‘fall into’ these roles. But since these are very important aspects so you need to have a discussion about who will make decisions for the family. This way, there will be no resentment down the road.

To make it work even better, here are some guidelines that need to be established:

Understanding roles and boundaries

Both of you in the relationship should be very comfortable and happy with the setup that you have in this relationship. To make this happen in the best possible, you need to work on the roles which are very clear, and both of you should accept their role because only you two know best where boundaries must be drawn.

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Transparency and honesty 

Be it any kind of relationship, transparency and honesty are always the two most important pillars that you simply cannot ignore. Hence, both of you in the relationship should feel very much comfortable approaching each other, and if you ever feel uncomfortable due to the kind of setup you have currently in the relationship, you should approach each other all the same. Both of you need to be heard, and both of you must be free to express your feelings and concerns.

Review the relationship

Reviewing the relationship in your own way is very important. Because in this face of the earth, it is one of the rarest things to behold that two persons know exactly what they want. No matter how well your female-led relationship is working now, there is no guarantee if it will work the same way in the future or forever, for that matters. Hence, you should be patient enough to take the time to review your relationship periodically and ensure that both of you are happy.

Remember why you are together

You should never forget the reason as to why you both are together. You need to believe that a female-led relationship isn’t about power; it never is. But it is always nothing but a structure for two people who love each other to choose to follow. You should always avoid falling into the trap of being more concerned with your role than the feeling you actually feel for your partner. You should always be ready to make decisions because you love each other, not because it is a very interesting power play game.

Ignore opinions

Now, much like everything else, you will always have people who would tell you how female-led relationships are not at all right. And there will be some people who would often let their feelings be known to you quite blatantly. Well, the key here is not to pay heed to them because you know yourself very well and also, you know your partner best. Hence, you should always, both of you actually, should try your best not to let other things get in the way of your happiness. This is absolutely essential.

Take note of abuse 

Now, truth be told, no matter what kind of relationship you are on, there is always this chance or risk of abuse in any relationship. But that should not dampen your spirit, and you just need to be aware of any abuse taking place in the relationship. Neither of you must make sure that neither the man nor the woman is taking advantage of their role. None of you can become too dependent or too controlling. Because if you touch the extremes of either, then it can be a form of abuse. Always remember that just because you wanted to be in this unique relationship structure, that doesn’t mean it is the relationship that must be continued by hook or crook, even if it is becoming unhealthy for you.

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How Does It Feel to Be in a Female Led Relationship?

Well, frankly, this kind of relationship, like the FLR, isn’t about who should text first, who should ask out or pay for all the dates you go to. This is about allowing any partner to take the lead in the relationship, irrespective of their gender roles.

Believe it or not, a female-led relationship can be incredibly freeing for even a woman as well who wants to be in control. All the more, when she is a woman who would want to make decisions for herself, her relationship, and her family.

This kind of relationship will allow the woman to actually follow what she believes is best for her, and it will also allow her a chance to fulfill all her desires to be in charge of her own life and family. And frankly,,, who doesn’t love that! Contrary to what many believe, this kind of relationship is never about having complete control, but it is more about the women being able to make substantial decisions without being forced to take constant permission from their male counterparts.

If you look at it in a broad way, then at the end of the day, this kind of relationship is just like any other relationship, and much like any other kind of relationship, this one too has its own roles and guidelines. Much like any other kind of relationship, this one too will work if both of them are comfortable with their duties and roles and if both partners never forget that they are together in this because of love, not because of control.

Much like with any other relationship, both the partners must always be mindful of your partner and never fail to take care of each other’s feelings. Both of you should be there to support each other, regardless of your role in the relationship.

No matter what happens, you should always keep the love you have for each other as the priority in the relationship and do whatever is necessary to secure that love and kindness between you two. This way, you will never feel any unwanted pressure, and it will allow you to thrive in your role. No matter what adversaries you may face along the way, you will still be able to continue forward as a happy couple.

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Advantages of Female Led Relationship

Now, it is time to talk about all the great advantages of female-led relationships. The best part is that this kind of relationship offers advantages to both men and women, contrary to what many critics of this kind of relationship believe. 

There is no doubt that it is not a kind of relationship that will work for anyone or everyone, but if you are able to follow this setup with all the rules and guidelines, then you will be entitled to have some substantial advantages.

Advantages of Female Led Relationship for Women

  • This kind of relationship will always offer the women a fair chance to make meaningful decisions in their lives. They will be able to make changes and also significantly contribute to their household without being forced to go through a male’s approval first.
  • This type of relationship enjoys a better chance to get strengthened by the fact that the female feels, and they never fail to offer quintessential support, attention, and care to their male counterpart when he treats her as an equal.
  • In this type of relationship, you will be able to see much less of a power struggle. This happens because, from the very beginning, the roles become very clear. This way, the woman can make her decisions very peacefully, and she will always know that she has her partner’s support.
  • There are some women for whom having control over their relationship, their household, kids, and even their finances, along with everything else, is something that comes very naturally and becomes a part of their personality. When they are in this kind of relationship, it will prevent them from feeling suppressed.
  • Although it can cause some debate, there are some women who feel that an FLR allows them more control of their partner. Plus, it will allow them to have more power so that they can rectify any bad habits that their partner might have, and it will help them become a better version of themselves.
  • This relationship always sets clear roles in the relationship and completely removes the problems caused by any power struggles that the husband-wife might face.
  • It is very simple to understand that when you have clear roles in the relationship, it will automatically reduce the chance of fights. In this way, both partners will easily realize that they’re responsible for everything that happens from their end and will be less likely to argue over small decisions.

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Advantages of Female Led Relationship for Men

  • This relationship can actually take the stress of a leadership role off of the men. It can be all the more beneficial for those men who would prefer not to have the pressure on their shoulders. It offers them some peace and releases them from a role of authority. In any other kind of relationship, they are often bound to or otherwise get pressured to take this burden of authority.
  • Believe it or not but there are some men who actually prefer to adopt the gentler role in the relationship they are in. They like to get more invested with duties such as looking after children, tending to the home, cooking, and cleaning. Some men are even happy with earning less amount of money than their partner because, in that way, they will not have to take the stress of being the breadwinner.
  • Any man who has been in a female-led relationship for a long time and is willing will surely be able to appreciate their partner more. They will also be able to better recognize their worth compared to other men being in another kind of relationship. They can easily see their partners as equals rather than someone below them.
  • There are many men who think that there is less tension in female-led relationships.

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What Remains?

So, these are the things you need to know about a female-led relationship. I guess after reading this, and you now have an idea as to where to start. If you wish to get into one such relationship, then all the female-led relationship guidelines mentioned in this post will help you get a much better grasp of the concept and know how to go about this. So, have you ever been in such a relationship? If you have any such personal experience, then do feel free to share that with us in the comments section.

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