Before jumping into the topic, let us get the idea about love vs lust. Many people wonder what the difference between love and lust is. They can both coexist in a relationship. Lust describes as the never-ending want for s*x or physical attraction with your partner. Whereas, love is an emotion or feeling that can be cared for and protected in every situation.
Let’s try to understand lust vs love!
What is Lust vs Love? Definition & Meaning
In my opinion, both love and lust have their features in any relationship. Love means attraction between a couple and efforts to make their relationship successful. On the other hand, lust implies s*xual affairs or physical interest in relationships. They both have their functions in developing a relationship.
These two emotions can spot in any loving relationship. Love creates a never-ending bond between a couple, and lust creates a desire for a physical connection that encourages and celebrates their bond. But what happens when you respect your partner. The problem begins when you appreciate your lover. As a result, it becomes difficult to express your lust. In my opinion, if your love is pure, then automatically, you will start respecting; Lust can also be there. A proper balance between that three-element is what pure love is all about.
Some people may think that lust is a very negative emotion that needs to restrict from any relationship. Maybe you are right, but before discussing the main topic, you may want to read the definition of both love and lust. There may be certain circumstances when love and lust do not coexist like loving your pet, having affection for your parents and grandparents, etc. Here only love exists. Lust has no involvement in this kind of relationship.
Also Read: Love vs Infatuation
What is Lust? Definition
Lust can define as a strong urge or desire to have something. You may think that lust is a negative aspect of a relationship. In my opinion, lust is not a dirty word; instead, it is a strong emotion or feeling which is not easy to feel. Unless you do not care for anything, you cannot feel lust. Lust is not mainly a desire to have a physical relationship with your partner but an urge to achieve something.
Let us see how lust describes based on different circumstances:
An urge or craving
Lust can apply to anything you are craving for in your life—for example, a lust for chocolates, lust for video games, lust for anything you require. The lust can replace with “enthusiasm.” It’s fantastic to be enthusiastic about everything in life. It is good to be encouraged about anything.
S*xual or physical desire
In relationships, lust can be defined as a craving for or urge to have s*xual relations with your partner.
Many often say that lust can only be defined as strong s*xual desires. But now, you can guess how the definition of lust varies based on various circumstances.
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What is Love? Definition
Love though it is a small word but has a strong meaning. Love can describe as a set of feelings or a sense of likings on anything or anybody. Love can be characterized by intimacy, emotions, attractions, and trust. Love usually starts developing its intensity over time. Love also contains positive and negative emotions like happiness, satisfaction, closure, and jealousy & stress.
Let us review some definitions based on different circumstances:-
Love for your parents
A valid example where only love exists. That is the perfect example to prove that love can exist without lust. In the relationship with our parents, no kind of lust emotion exists, which proves that love can sustain without lust. Parents love you without any condition & purpose that is why their love is pure.
Attachments for your life partner
Being attached and feeling devotion is a few elements of loving someone. Naturally, you will feel committed when your partner shows those elements to you.
Concern for each other
Though concern and care are also required in a relationship with your partner. But you can also feel the same emotions about your best friends or business partners.
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Aspects Differentiating Love and Lust
Many individuals will face difficulty understanding what they are feeling, lust or love. Both love and lust is common emotion every individual have come across in their lives. There are a few aspects that differentiate between lust and love.
Both love and lust have some similar feelings. Generally, love and lust are displayed in a similar way within ourselves. As a result, individuals get confused about their feelings on love or lust.
Below are mention few feelings that are common between love and lust:
- Increase in heart rates.
- Happiness
- Unwanted and meddling emotions
Love and lust may coexist in a relationship. An individual may experience both love and lust at the same time.
Below are some essential pieces of information that separate love and lust:
Love
Most people have the experience of falling in love. They can explain loved by the happy moments they spent with their partner. They can recall those moments when they first started feeling comfortable when they were both together when they enjoyed the delightful moments of togetherness.
Love is something that can only be felt. It can be complex emotion. When you fall in love, you fall for that person on a deep emotional level. Though you may get some lust emotions with someone your love, your love is supposed to stay longer than your lust.
When individuals fall in love with someone, they generate bonding hormones like oxytocin and vasopressin. These are the same hormones that are generated while breastfeeding to create a bond between a mother and her child.
These hormones generate, and as a result, a couple gets emotionally attached. When in love, an individual may not want to get physically attracted, but they may desire to get close to each other.
It is insignificant that where there is love, lust also exists. Love is something more pure and stronger emotion that lasts longer than lust or passion for s*xually charged.
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Lust
Love can be defined; as a complex, strong, pure, and challenging emotion. Lust can be explained as a passion or a strong emotional feeling for a physical relationship with someone.
In lust, you naturally strive to get instant pleasure from your partner. In lust or desire, love and care have no value; the thing that matters is physical attraction.
Biologically speaking, lust is a strong emotion to reproduce. That is because the hypothalamus in our body activates the reproductive system. As a result, testosterone and estrogen are formed.
Testosterone and estrogen are the essential substances that encourage our s*xual desires in men and women.
Love can be described as the beginning stage of some relationships. Lust may not constantly develop into love. If a couple’s primary goal is lust and physical attraction only even after a long time, then hopefully, it has not developed into an ideal loving relationship.
Many individuals have past experiences or trauma that prevent encouraging lust to further evolve into love.
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How to know what you are feeling Lust or Love?
Many individuals may get confused about what they are feeling. Is this love or lust you are feeling?. It is difficult to verify whether it is your lust or the love you are getting excited for. You may not tell the difference between those two feelings.
Suppose you see a girl and your heartbeat increases. You naturally feel something about her. But you are not aware of what that emotion is, love or lust. Are you excited about her physically, or do you want to have her as your partner? Do not get tense, and it is natural to get confused. To get rid of your confusion, here are some signs of both love and lust. That will help you sort your feelings.
The sign that you are feeling the love
Love can be broadly classified into two categories, mentioned below:
Passionate Love
This kind of love can also be referred to as short-time attraction or infatuation. When you say a girl and feel that your life will be incomplete without her, this feeling may be a sign of passionate love. It generally happens in the teenager stage, when you start dating someone. In the teenage stage, you are inexperienced in deciding whether you feel love or lust.
Passionate love can also be referred to as a state of the intense and unbearable desire of having someone in your life. In this stage, lust may prevail in your relationship. Passion for s*xual action and meaningless emotional attachments are the common symptoms of passionate love.
When a person feels a passionate love towards someone, their brain starts generating hormones like dopamine. Those hormones naturally affect the nerve that triggers our addictive behaviors. That is how passionate love or infatuation happens.
Also Read: Signs you are emotionally needy
Harmonious love
Harmonious or companionate love can be defined as a strong desire for intimacy, emotions, affections, and commitments between a couple. This kind of love is pure and can often be seen in close friends or long-time couples.
These love factors produce hormones like oxytocin and vasopressin, which help create a bond between the couple. These hormones are generally associated with bonding between mother and child at breastfeeding.
This kind of love involves emotions, passion for staying together, caring for each other when in a relationship. Here lust can prevail, but love remains more potent than lust in this kind of bonding.
Here are some signs that will help you find out whether you are in love or not:
- You get excited to share your thoughts or emotion with your partner.
- You feel ready to confess your love to your parents.
- You are satisfied to share your challenges and vulnerability with your partner.
- When you can trust your partner.
- When you get excited after meeting her.
- When you feel that she is missing a piece you are looking for.
Love may feel complicated, but everything becomes simple once you start feeling for your partner. True love comprises trust for each other, respect, commitment with your partner. Finally, it comprises satisfaction and comfort between two individuals.
According to many professionals, the types mentioned above of love can involve lust or desire for physical attractions. Both love and lust can cause a few noticeable physical symptoms like secretion, sweaty palms, and feeling butterflies in the stomach.
The sign that you are feeling lust
According to some psychotherapists, lust defines as a s*xual desire or attraction between two individuals. Lust may not be something we often act on, but it changes and encourages the s*xual desire of any individual. Lusting for someone you love is not wrong; it is a part of any normal human emotions.
These are the signs that show you feel lust:-
- When you think about your partner, you start imagining her physical body.
- When thinking about your partner turns you on.
- When you want to kiss as soon as you meet your partner.
- When you feel that your relationship will not last. But the moment you touch her, it makes sense.
Lust can be a strong emotion that has the power to control our minds and our thoughts. As a result, we can make some mistakes based on our judgment. The lust emotion is produced by the brain’s hypothalamus, responsible for triggering our s*xual hormones called testosterone and estrogen.
Is it Possible to Convert Lust to Love?
Many professionals think it is possible to concert lust into love, but remember, feeling lust does not mean a gradual loving relationship. Lust is a strong emotion, and it might be tough to transform it into love. In a connection, lust may get transferred into love, but it needs equal effort from both of you.
Whenever there is lust in a relationship, it may gradually lead to love, but due to the presence of love, that relationship may get compatibility issues after a while.
Finding love in lust is pretty challenging because partners can miss the key elements necessary in love in lustful relationships. When a partner is only having a physical relationship with you, then they will ignore your honesty, trust, likings, etc, which are important to fall in love. As a result, that makes it more challenging to determine whether they are compatible with you to go in a loving relationship.
Determining the difference between love and lust can help you decide whether your partner is only looking for a casual s*x partner or is interested in loving and serious relationships. In addition, by the difference between love and lust mentioned above, you can determine whether your partner loves you or likes to be physically active with you.
However, your relationship may be limited to lust if you notice these few factors in your partner:
- When you both spend most of your time physically attracted to one another. When your partner has no headache for developing your relationship, it may signify that it cannot be a loving relationship.
- If you both are not interested to know anything except your physical relationship, that means it may not develop into something serious in the future.
- When you both have no intention to evolve your relationship, and you both like it casual, it can be a possible symbol your relationship will not develop into a loving relationship.
- When you are aware that you and your partner have nothing in common, a physical relationship satisfies you both, which means you both have strived for lust and not for love.
Love and Lust Both Important in a Relationship?
Every relationship between individuals who give importance and feel the value for a physical relationship will agree that love and lust are essential in a relationship. When you are in a committed relationship, you both may feel the need for physical love because this lust is the element that keeps your relationship alive and new.
To make your relationship fulfilling and satisfying, you may need both love and lust elements equally. You may need to balance those two elements to make your relationship both satisfied and alive. You can express your love and care towards each other through s*xual desires. For any relationship to last long, you need to balance these emotions or elements, keeping in mind your desires.
Balancing these two emotions can be pretty challenging. It is not a problem if you have lustful feelings towards your partner after you fall in love. For many people, stable and healthy s*x life is vital to maintaining attraction and heat. Lust emotions between a couple that helps to preserve the intimacy in the relationship.
For a successful long-span relationship, you may need to balance lust and love equally. Love and passion both have their importance in forming an ideal relationship. Love can be responsible for long-lasting relationships; on the other hand, lust is responsible for more closure and intimate relationships.
Frequently, an individual faces various obstructions or other barriers that prevent them from falling in love. As a result, you may not get the chance to express yourself. Couples therapy can be the solution to these barriers.
Lust vs Love – Can the Two Coexist in a Relationship?
After reading the whole article, we can conclude that love and lust can coexist in a relationship. Every individual wants to be in a relationship where they both can be intimate, happy, and satisfied. So, if both love and lust can structure your relationship like you want it to be, then in my opinion, you should consider having both.
Passion or lust can be essential aspects for making your relationship alive, and love does not let you separate. So, in my opinion, you need to have a balance of both emotions in your relationship. Lust or passion in a relationship is an enjoyable element between every couple. But if your partner is only looking for a physical relationship, then something may be wrong.
When you are in a relationship where love, respect, and lust have their own and balanced contribution, then your relationship has the potential to develop into something serious. Until the love emotion has the primary assistance in a relationship, a casual lust feeling can hopefully not harm. If your partner is looking for casual physical relationships, try to communicate before someone gets hurt.
In my opinion, if there is true love and bonding in your relationship, then there is nothing lust can destroy. If your love emotion is strong, then there is nothing wrong with being passionate about a physical relationship. Being physically attracted is one of the primary principles of a successful relationship. The problem may start when your partner involve with you only because they could get physical with you.
When you consider removing love factors from a relationship, then the meaning of the relationship is already ruined because love is the primary pillar of any relationship. You cannot have lust in a healthy relationship without loving your partner.
When you only want to be physically attracted, then ignore having any serious relationship. However, when your primary goal is lust, try casual relationships and communicate your feelings to your partner. That way, you can prevent hurting your partner’s expectations. If your partner gets emotionally attached, then it might be a problem in the future.
At last, you may get an idea of how lust and love are both equally necessary for any long-term relationship. In my opinion, lust is acceptable when you are in a serious relationship because it makes the relationship alive and spicy, which may be an essential factor for both of you.
Consult Professional Help
If you are still confused about determining love or lust, it is better to consult a professional therapist. An individual may get confused while deciding as both love and lust are similar to each other in various aspects.
If you are looking for a solution that can be helpful for both you and your partner, then it may be time to consult a professional therapist for couple counseling. A skilled expert may be a valid answer to your problems.
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