Can You Stop Being Hopelessly Romantic? In this article, we will learn definition & meaning of hopeless romantic along with Signs, what does hopeless romantic mean, etc.,
Being romantic is a double-edged sword. There is nothing quite like it, yet being too much of a romantic can also cause some mental grief. This is where we call these people hopeless romantics.
Ideally, these kinds of people tend to become too attached to their partners and often lose the grip of reality. They hardly wish to confront the rules of reality, and this attitude often becomes the reason for their heartbreak.
So, is it okay to be a hopeless romantic? Frankly, most people are not even aware of the fact that they are hopelessly romantic. In this post, we will be talking about exactly this.
First, we will tell you the signs that prove you are a hopeless romantic and also discuss is always healthy to be a hopeless romantic in today’s time.
Let’s get started.
Hopeless Romantic Definition? Meaning
Let us try and understand a definition of a hopeless romantic. So, the first few adjectives you can use for such an individual are utopian, having a sentimental perspective on love, despite all the negative past experiences. They can even overlook all kinds of contrasting information. Basically, they wish to love someone against all odds and consider this as nothing but a blissful experience. They are often called “hopeless” because no piece of information or logic can sway them from their path.
They tend to fall in love with the idea of being in love rather than the person himself or herself. They are just ever so ready to fall in love, and they are willing to place anyone in that vacant place. Hence, they feel a mental commitment from day one.
They just love the sound of falling in love, and for them, every kind of relationship is favorable. But since reality hardly coincides with our fantasies, hopeless romantics receive very little joy other than suffering and struggle.
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Signs to Look for in a Hopeless Romantic Person
Now, we will look at the various signs of what makes a hopeless romantic. Indeed, many people are not even aware of the fact that they are hopeless romantics.
1# The Fall in and Out of Love Quite Quickly
Since they are primarily in love with the idea of being in love, their passion can reach great heights very quickly. But it can go out equally fast. Most of the time, their relationship either ends with a bad patch or fades out completely. Since they love chasing a burning candle, they end up burning themselves quite often.
2# They End up in One-Sided Relationships
Now, it is very difficult to find a relationship that is absolutely equal in all respects. Sometimes the investment can be 60/40 or 70/30. But if you feel that you are the one who is always on the giving end and seldom on the receiving end, then you are in a one-sided affair. Hopelessly romantic people often end up in a situation like this. Frankly, there is no glory in this because the other person can never be emotionally invested in you.
When you are a hopeless romantic, you will always be completely enraptured by your own emotion. This will blind you to the fact that how your partner feels about the relationship. Since the commitment will be uneven, most hopeless romantics will experience despair.
Sometimes they give it one last try by pushing their gestures of love and showing how persistent they are. But if the other person is not on the same page, it can never work.
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3# You Invest in the Idea that Love is a Fairy-tale
Hopeless romantics tend to consider their love life like a fairy-tale. They often have out-of-the-world expectations, and they think everything in their lives will happen just like it happens in the movies. But as we all know, this is not the case, and life is not something where we can control each and everything as per our will. A practical or pragmatic person will understand this, and they shall never expect a predictable plot in their life.
Now, you may dream of this wonderful romantic scene, where you are right before the Eiffel tower, and some man looking like James Dean will go on his knees and propose to you. The chances of that happening is one in a million. So even if you have seen movies like this, don’t think the same can happen to you.
In the fairy tale, you can see happy endings, but you may not get that all the time in life. So, it is better to be real and imagine your life as it is. This way you will be less disappointed.
4# Being Too Optimistic about Love
One of the greatest faults of hopeless romantic is being too optimistic about love. They can always see the bright side of love. Although there is nothing wrong with it, most hopeless romantics tend to take this a bit too far. Since they can see the best in everyone, they assume almost anyone to be their potential partner. This tendency leads to heartbreak and disappointment because not everyone is perfect for you.
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5# Ignoring the Red Flags for Too Long
When you are a hopeless romantic, the first thing you do is reject all the red flags clearly visible about the relationship. Even when your expectations don’t meet, you still ignore the perspective of what can possibly be wrong with it.
You actually wait for the initial magic to be vanished completely. Only then do you realize that probably some things are out of place. But during the early phase, you see nothing but the traits that made you fall in love in the first place. Instead of rejecting the whole thing, you ignore the signs that warn you about the relationship.
Ideally, you should see it like perfect relationships don’t exist. So, if you ignore the problem, it will never make them go away. When you are unhappy in your relationship, you must speak up and talk to your partner about expressing how you feel. Only through communication can you reach ideal solutions. Resolving conflicts in a relationship can indeed be quite difficult in the first place, but if you have found the right partner, then he or she will wish to work things out and grow together.
6# You Get Obsessed with Every Romantic Thing
People who are hopelessly romantic will always look for ways to fall in love. They will never leave any stone unturned to make it work. Be it following social media accounts, wedding profiles, or watching romantic shows. They can binge on these shows and movies for hours, and they tend to use art and music to bask in this romantic plot, searching in their lives continuously. They also tend to invest a lot of time believing in fairy tales and use a lot of energy to make the relationship seem like a dream. But most of the time, these dreams end badly and get hurt.
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7# Put Emotions Forward
They have the tendency to think about everything with their head instead of their heart. That’s why they are rarely pragmatic in their lives. You would see them having their hearts in their sleeves. Sometimes it is quite all right, but not every single time. Due to this nature, they often lose track of reality and do absolutely bizarre things.
On top of that, they can have a lot of emotionally heightened expectations, and when the other person fails to live up to them, they feel threatened and heartbroken. Since they are always high on emotions, their disappointment can take a serious toll on them.
8# Idolizing the Partner
For these people, a relationship is always a one-dimensional thing, and they view every relationship in that manner only. That’s why they can fall out of love very quickly as they never really love the person as much as they love the idea of being in love. The best way to deal with such a situation is to write down the potential deal breakers you might have beforehand. This way, you can limit the chances of getting heartbroken too often. Also, this method can keep their expectations in check for such people.
9# Having the Martyr Complex
People who are deemed as hopelessly romantic will surely display signs of the martyr complex. Basically, they love being loved and cared for by the other person, and that’s why they feel like it is a duty to continually give in order to receive love. They have the tendency to value only what they provide for their partner; otherwise, they feel they can suffer the consequence of the relationship. This idea of getting rewarded in love makes them stay at the mercy of other people’s behavior.
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10# Constant Daydreaming about Love
When you have the attitude of being a hopeless romantic, you would always feel like being in your own fantasy world about marriage and dating. One such person would spend day and night thinking and imagining various outcomes related to the relationship.
Due to this behavior, they also end up dating multiple people at once because they need to fulfill these dreams by hook or crook. Because of this reason, they often lose the balance between their love life and professional life. Most of the energy gets drained out, and they end up losing their friends as well.
You would see them just a few months in the relationship but already planning their wedding as well as the song which will be played. For this, they can go to a great extent and waste a lot of time instead of focusing on building the relationship stronger.
11# Never Having Long-Term Relationships
Like I have mentioned before, they have an idealized view of love. Hence, they will be extremely fastidious and choosy about the relationship. People who are hopelessly romantic can never be committed to a long-term relationship. They also have the tendency to discriminate between partners and constantly compare them on multiple levels. Now, this causes the fallout, and they end up being alone only to look for another idealized relationship.
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12# Spending Enormous Time with Their Partner
Being super passionate about the relationship, they cannot see anything else apart from the person they found. That’s why they tend to spend a lot of time with that person and ignore everything else. They can very easily give up on their hobbies and even friends.
They don’t take much time to get obsessed with their new relationship and quickly make all the interests and activities of their partner their interest as well. The ideal approach in this matter should be to take things very slow and respect individual commitments and passions. Plus, you need to give time to the relationship to unfold and strengthen over the course of time. There is no glory in jumping the gun and getting injured way too early.
13# Staying and Enjoying Their Own World
Another very detrimental habit of such people is staying in their shell and believing only what they find convenient. If you take any hopeless romantic girl, you will see they are like the princesses of their world, and they enjoy watching other people from their castle windows. It becomes all too late for them to realize that they have missed out on the other side of the world.
An ideal person will take the initiative to do something for the relationship rather than wait for something to happen. You need to step out of your comfort zone and meet new people and new challenges. Only then might you just find the perfect match for you.
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14# Having Unrealistic Expectations
Regardless of the romantic situation, they will always have unrealistic expectations, and then they end up having a lot of disappointments. They tend to forget that their expectations will go beyond their reality, and the other person might not be able to fulfill them. They need to believe that life is full of surprises, and they need to wait for their surprise. You cannot just plan everything as per your own will.
15# Having Too High Standards in Men
Most hopeless romantic girls will have very high preferences and standards. This happens because of all the movies and romantic stories they swallow endlessly. Now, it is not always a problem to have high standards. But the ideal is not to be choose but to look for quality men. But this causes them to shorten the list of preferences.
You need to believe that no one is perfect, and the same can be said for men as well. Hence, you cannot always expect them to be the hero you read about in the book or saw in the movies. You need to stop judging your life by the chick flicks. Real men have flaws. The flaws we all have make us real, which separates us from fantasies as well.
There is nothing wrong with expecting some dreamy moments in your life. But you should not let these moments affect how you deal and interact with others, especially with your supposed partner in life. One has to be very practical in this case and judge people only by nature and accept them just the way they are.
Also Read: Signs for break up with partner
16# You Fall Fast and Hard
Being a hopeless romantic, this is your biggest trademark! You will fall for someone very fast and develop feelings very quickly in the beginning stages. Then you will be drawn to the idea of being in love. That’s why the partner can be just about anyone on the other side of the equation. No matter who that person is, the result will be more or less the same.
This happens because you tend to idealize your significant other, and you expect something more than what they are. When they fail to do that, you fall out of love. Before, you would ignore all the red flags, but you would quickly go out of the relationship just when they will do something against the image in your mind.
17# Experiencing Love Bombing
Another aspect of this kind of relationship is its toxic nature. People having this kind of nature will have a frequent toxic relationship, and it involves love bombing,” In the beginning, they find it lie dream and then later the whole dynamics changes all of a sudden.
It is not easy to say who can be the bomber. Sometimes you can be that person, and you start doing everything in your power to make someone love you and be exactly who you think they want. But later, you realize you’re not in the relationship you imagined and bounce. Once the spark is gone, so is your relationship. Other times, the opposite can happen to you. It’s sometimes easy for you to believe in early false promises and devotions because the quick progression meets your fairy-tale stories.
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18# Nothing Matters Anymore
People belonging to this category tend to pursue their happily-ever-after with reckless abandon. You would feel like investing everything into the person you are dating. This is why they would neglect their friends and even their own interests or hobbies.
19# Is It Always Wrong to be Hopelessly Romantic?
“There’s nothing wrong with being a hopeless romantic, someone who believes in true love, appreciates romance, and wants the fairy-tale type of relationship,”
Says relationship expert Allen.
He further adds that.
“The problem with being a hopeless romantic comes from a lack of awareness of being one. If you’re someone who falls hard for whoever you’re dating, you’re planning and fantasizing about the future from the beginning, and you don’t have the awareness that you’re doing that, it can get you into trouble.”
He also believes that hopeless romantics often have very challenging breakups and they feel more hurt since they invest a lot into the relationship so quickly.
“It feels like they’re losing a big part of themselves during the breakup. And they’re more likely to keep going back to their ex or jump into a new relationship really quickly.”
This is why the fall tends to be very hard for the person falling out of love.
Another relationship expert Jackson Martin states that the situation can often become a serious issue because these people stumble with navigating conflicts.
“As soon as there is evidence that this isn’t the fairy tale that they envision, they typically leave the relationship prematurely, feeling like it isn’t meant to be.” But they don’t alter their concept of love. So the cycle continues to repeat itself.
To put it simply, most of the hopeless romantics actually set themselves up for getting disappointed. But nowhere, we are to say that they can never find what they’re looking for in the end.
Plus, you can very well be romantic without being hopeless. If you cannot relate to the situations or reasons mentioned above, you can call yourself only a hopeful, intentional lover.
So, there is no reason to think that being a hopeless romantic is an innate shortcoming. It’s how you treat the relationship is that makes all the difference. There is no reason for you to get away from your reality to favor your romanticized version of a relationship. We know that you may just have a tough time in the dating world. But with the right mindset, you can surely find your perfect match without getting disappointed too often.
What Remains?
So, these are the things you need to do keep in mind to overcome being a hopeless romantic. So, do you have any such personal experience? Then do feel free to share that with us in the comments section. It will help a lot of other people.
Best of luck!
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