Hey friends, have you thought about emotional abuse? No one expects to end up in an abusive relationship. Most relationships begin positively with kind words in the beginning. These relationships can deteriorate in the future into abusive and destructive partnerships.
Emotional abuse is often forgotten when talking about domestic violence, along with physical abuse. This issue’s significance cannot be emphasized. Partner abuse might include criticizing, threatening, isolating, and other forms of control and manipulation. In many cases, emotional abuse leaves scars that last a lifetime as a result of humiliating conditions, fear, and a lack of recovery.
Definition of Emotional Abuse
The abusive partner controls and manipulates their partner using harmful behaviors like the ones mentioned above so that they feel powerless. When your partner says or does something that doesn’t feel right, you need to trust your instincts.
If someone is abused emotionally, they may feel off-balance and unsure of what to do. They may question their judgment more than normal.
Why Emotional Abuser do this?
The impact of emotional abuse on a person’s wellbeing can last a lifetime and is extremely harmful. An abusive partner will likely escalate their behavior over time, using a variety of abusive styles and methods to gain and maintain power. They believe something they did is the reason for criticism or attacks, or they blame themselves.
Abusers do not deserve to abuse anyone. Even though the abuser may have a valid reason for the abuse, domestic violence violates Native traditions.
Power and control are at the heart of emotional abuse like physical violence. While the abuser uses mental and emotional tactics instead of physical force like insults, criticize, shames, scares, undermines, gaslights, and punishes the victim.
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12 Signs of Emotional Abuse
S*xual Coercion
A variety of things can constitute s*xual abuse, including insisting on performing fantasies or engaging in s*xual acts that you have not given your explicit or enthusiastic consent to. Whenever you are tricked, manipulated, or forced into unwelcome s*xual activity, this is called s*xual coercion. You may feel you owe someone s*x if you are coerced.
Both women and men can be affected by this form of emotional abuse. It is never necessary to have s*x in a healthy relationship unless you want it. Injuring a spouse or partner is never acceptable.
- A threat to your health if you do not have s*x.
- To have s*x with someone who bullies and wears you down.
- In the case of s*x, you lied or promised something.
- Until you agree to have s*x, the person keeps you awake.
- Refusal of s*xual consent, preventing you from using contraceptives, controlling when you get pregnant, or intentionally infecting you with a s*xually transmitted disease.
Shame
Someone who abuses someone can make them feel ashamed for their shortcomings or imply that their shortcomings make them a much worse person than they are.
- As a way of making it clear the other is inferior, the abusive person may give lectures about the other’s behavior.
- It also involves elements of control. Abusers may become angry if they are disallowed to do what they want. That is simultaneously a means of control and makes the person feel ashamed for not listening.
- An abusive friend might tell the person false information about their bad behavior.
- A person who abuses will often leave a problem unsolved rather than resolve it. It is common for two people to say the other is crazy when they disagree at home. That may make the other person feel ashamed and place all the blame on them.
- The abusive person may refuse to listen to the other person’s issues or problems or tell them that everything they mention is not a big deal.
Yelling
Regardless of the reason for yelling, a person feels undervalued and devalued. Chances are he might be emotionally abusive if you are still yelling at him and not communicating in a decent and understanding manner.
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Mood Swings
It is important to remember that being around emotionally abusive people isn’t always problematic. People who are abused frequently choose to stay in a relationship since things aren’t always so bad. Your partner’s mood swings can cause stress and anxiety in your daily life. You might find that smiling turns into an angry mood without any apparent reason, or you might find yourself being on the receiving end of vicious complaints following a relaxing lunch.
Treat you like a child
Emotional abuse in the form of infantilization is particularly troubling. Your partner may behave in such a way that makes you feel as though you have little control over your own life. Your partner may try to limit your commitments and freedoms by controlling your finances, or your partner may try to decide when you are free to attend social events.
The person restricting you usually rationalizes their actions as a favor for you. Because of your inexperience and lack of common sense, you cannot make these decisions for yourself.
He somehow makes you feel like you have no voice in matters, no matter how old or successful you are. He thinks you have an immature way of handling things. He might tell you where you are going to celebrate your anniversary without having heard your suggestions.
Humiliation
A person who is abusive acts or speaks in ways that are clearly intended to humiliate the other party.
- In the case of abuse, people will blatantly use harmful terms such as stupid, idiot, and other offensive terms. They could attempt to pass off their behavior as sarcasm if confronted.
- In some situations, abusive people disguise their derogatory remarks as sarcasm, even when both people are enjoying the joke. Those who are abusive might make fun of those who are offended by their lack of humor if the other feels offended.
- It’s natural to call someone by a nickname or pet name, but hurtful names shouldn’t be used.
- An abusive individual may pick public fights, and then blame the other individual when they become angry. Also, they may openly make fun of the other person or pick on them in social situations.
- A good example of this is talking down to someone who is trying to learn something new or letting them know they are not on their level.
- An abusive person may insult the appearance of another in front of others. Abusers aim to hurt or humiliate their partners or to make themselves look desirable by humiliating them.
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Isolation
The abusive person will also act in many other ways to make the victim feel isolated from the rest of the world.
- Not allowing another person to spend time with family and friends.
- Keeping a person’s car keys hidden.
- A cell phone or computer was stolen, hidden, or even destroyed.
- In order to make the person feel bad for spending time with the other person’s friends or family, making fun of or belittling them.
- It takes up every free moment the person has.
- Keeping someone locked up in a room or house.
Control
A partner who abuses you may try to control your appearance, your appetite, or other aspects of your life. You may even be asked for your password if they check your phone or social media.
S*xuality, precarious immigration status, mental illness, and children can all be used against the victim as a means of control. Threats reveal private information, out a victim, report them to the authorities, have the victim sectioned, or take their children away. Besides threatening to kill the victim, the perpetrator may also threaten to harm their loved ones or animals to prevent them from leaving.
Blaming
An abusive person is often insecure and blames others for their actions. They don’t have to feel the consequences of their shortcomings because they are blaming others.
- It is possible to abuse someone out of jealousy. When the abusive individual sees the other talking to or flirting with others, they may regularly confront them. The abusive individual may accuse the other of cheating on them frequently.
- The abuser may try to turn the tables on the victim by blaming them for the problems the victim hasn’t addressed. Sometimes, they will even claim that the other person is abusive in the relationship.
- Abusers are usually able to make their victims angry. The person may irritate the other person until their partner becomes upset, and then blame the other person for the upset.
Gas lighting
It is a term used to describe when an abuser confuses and makes out their victim is oversensitive or overreacting. Initially, they may deny your account of events, but then you may start believing their account, or they may say an event didn’t happen at all. The insult may be presented as a joke, making you feel stupid for getting upset.
In spite of its subtleness, gas lighting steadily undermines a victim’s self-worth, and leaves the victim emotionally dependent on the abuser. Additionally, abusers will often blame the victim for issues inside and outside of a relationship and refuse to take responsibility for the behavior they display.
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Drunk Abuse
Drinking and emotional abuse is often going hand in hand. Your partner may become more emotional and volatile when they are drinking.
Addiction is often rooted in emotional abuse, as people turn to drugs and alcohol to counteract fear, shame, anger, and other disruptive emotions as a way of coping with emotional abuse. Substances such as these numb feelings and create a sense of calm, allowing the victim to feel stronger and more in control of your lives.
Threaten to leave you
The threat of ending the relationship is common among emotionally abusive partners if you oppose their insatiable demands. Your partner brings up the prospect of divorce as an option. The sooner you question their controlling behaviors, the more likely you overreact. If your partner says that they are on the verge of leaving you because they are sick of the way you act. They may try to force you into doing what they want.
People who have been abused emotionally often suffer from low self-esteem after years of poor treatment, making threats like these more likely to cause panic and desperation. If you are forced into this situation, you may still get their way if you apologize unreservedly and promise to do so.
Effects of Emotional Abuse
Abusers can be Jekyll and Hyde at times, loving one minute, then vicious, controlling the next. Life is uncertain and you can never tell what is around the corner. It is impossible to relax when they change their mood at any given moment. It may appear that the emotional-abuser is charming and reasonable to the outside world. They make you feel as though you’re constantly on the edge of your seat.
- There’s a possibility you may not even realize they’re blowing hot or cold and blame yourself for it. All of this is part of a deliberate campaign to make you feel as though you’re in the wrong. Having doubts about your judgment may make you feel like you are going insane.
- Moodiness, irritability, and a constant sense of being on edge are symptoms of the emotional toll. Your ability to think clearly may be affected, and you may withdraw and isolate yourself from family and friends, which makes you even more vulnerable.
- A change in behavior could also indicate that you have been emotionally abused. Trying to cope with your emotions may lead to you becoming more self-destructive, such as drinking or smoking more. Losing your appetite may also cause you to have trouble sleeping.
- The emotional abuser often has control over your finances, clothes, friends, or what you do. Other warning signs are if your partner constantly checks your messages and watches your movements.
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How to Prevent Yourself from Emotional Abuse?
Stand Up & Fight
The process of shutting down abuse can be tough, but try to do so while it is happening. You let the other person know how they should not speak to you. Your voice should be clear and confident. If you are telling them to stop speaking to you the way they are, try to make eye contact with them as you do so.
Be Positive
You should find a neutral way of interacting with someone who puts you down all the time. In the case of a coworker who criticizes your ideas constantly, you may want to change the subject.
You may appear to be validating or ignoring the abuse. Putting an end to the abuse at this time could be a good way to move on with your day. Most of the time, you can resolve problems at home if someone abuses you within your family or with your partner.
Reduce Your Stress
You can suffer physically and emotionally as a result of stress. Despite how difficult it may seem, you may be able to better cope with emotional abuse if you manage to lower your stress level. Set aside certain times to engage in activities that you find comforting.
Know The Rights of your Relationship
When your essential relationship needs are neglected, you have to realize that your emotional safety is compromised. Every individual has the right to feel safe emotionally and physically. It is your right to expect your partner that your boundaries will be respected. No matter what opinion you hold, as long as you are respected, supported, and validated, you will interact in the relationship.
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Ask Support from your Family & Friends
When someone close to you is hurting you, it is particularly difficult. Family members or partners can cause emotional distress. You can depend on family and friends for support during this tough time. Let someone know what’s on your mind and tell them how you feel. If they are also acquainted with the other person, they may be able to give you some advice.
Think Like Abuser
It is easier to remember that the abuse is about the other person, not about you if you attempt to understand where they are coming from. It’s not because anything is wrong with you, but because something is seriously wrong in their lives.
Do not accept the blame
Your abuser doesn’t need you. You are neither the cause of the problem nor the cure. Those who abuse their victims emotionally are experts at making their victims question their feelings. Victims often pay more attention to the abuser’s needs for comfort and understanding than their own emotions. As the victim begins to blame their partner for the abuser’s ugly side, the abuser gains the upper hand. The victim must work to bring out the abuser’s kinder side. You do not accept responsibility for others’ manipulation and degrading actions.
Seek For Medical Help
You are not abnormal if you suffer from depression or anxiety as a result of emotional abuse. An expert can provide you with much support, so you are not alone. Having a safe place to discuss your emotions is also very helpful. Ask the other person if they would be open to couples or family counseling. Together, you may learn how to communicate more effectively.
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Gut Feeling
You are being told the truth by something inside you. You are worthy of love if you listen to that feeling. Not even the slightest bit of mistreatment or stupidity should be perpetrated upon you.
Walk Away
It is not necessary to abuse to deal with abusers. You’ll sink deeper into the problem if your partner draws you into a yelling match, debate, or argument about who is right. Until you feel safe and can come together peacefully, walk away or leave the area.
It might be best to walk away from the situation if they continue to say negative things. Taking a walk around the block is a great idea if you are at home. Taking a bathroom break at work is a good idea. The other person will likely have changed topics or behaviors by the time you return.
Break up your relationship to Abuser
Despite your love for your abuser, you can keep your distance from them, although it is not easy. Nevertheless, if the abuse continues, you may have to end the relationship. The relationship does not seem healthy to you, and you no longer want to be involved.
Make a plan to quickly leave your home if you fear that the abuse will escalate or that you cannot take any more abuse. Knowing you have a plan may make you feel more secure.
What to do if You see another person in Emotional Abuse?
Because physical abuse is so wrong, many people find it easier to leave a relationship. Since the signs of emotional abuse are more complicated, it may take a while for someone who is experiencing one to recognize the signs. If you continue to live in this situation, your mental and physical health is jeopardized. If the abuse is not addressed, it can turn into physical abuse.
- Make sure that your loved ones are watching out for you when you hear or see something worrying.
- People who tell you they’ve been abused at home should be believed, their stories listened to, and they should be helped to find the right support.
- Don’t pass judgment on anyone. Also, do not start giving them advice and tell them what they should and shouldn’t do.
- If someone does not leave an abusive relationship sooner, they should not be shamed or criticized. People often have trouble recognizing that they are victims of emotional abuse in their relationships.
- Be supportive of your friend’s decision no matter what he or she decides. Although they may not feel strong enough right now to leave, you can encourage and support them to work toward this goal in the future. Turning away from your friend is the worst thing you can do since this will make them feel more isolated.
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